I recently read an article titled "As A Young Adult Woman, I Should Never Have To Pay On Valentine's Day, Or Any Day For That Matter." Since I wrote this, the article has been deleted. To summarize, the author believes that the man she is in a relationship with should pay for everything and buy her gifts and that she should not pay for anything nor buy him any gifts. She claims that although she is "not entitled" to his money, he is expected to financially support her. She believes she should not have to work hard in school to obtain any significant degree because a man should pay her way in life.
I decided to rewrite the author's original article the RIGHT way:
I asked my boyfriend what he would like for Valentine's Day, whether it was a gift, a date or a gesture. I told him not to worry about the price, because I'd pay for it for him!
We both work hard, and that's why we're able to spoil each other.
Valentine's Day is my chance to show him how much I love and appreciate him because this day is about love. We love each other and we want to show each other how much we love and appreciate each other, and since I love my man so much, I am going to spoil him as much as I can!
He is special, and I want him to know that.
I'm not saying I need to buy his love, but loving him isn't always free when I see something I know he'd like, and I know giving it to him would put a smile on his face. I can't help but purchase that shirt I know he's been wanting that'll make him so excited when he opens the bag.
He makes more than me. He's in the army so his only life expenses are two bills.
Yes, my money is my money, but he's more than welcome to ask me for things or ask for financial help because when you love someone it causes you to want to help them, spoil them, and be generous to them. It causes you to want to give to that person more than you have ever have given to anyone else.
I'm not entitled to his money, and he's not entitled to mine, but the love we have for each other has made us wish we could just buy islands for each other, so we are willing to spend money on each other and financially support each other. When I spend money on him, I don't expect him to pay me back, because I know that sometime soon he will spend money on me, so it's mutual. I want to be able to support my family and my husband to be able to support us also so that we are supporting each other. This is why I want my future career to be stable. Perhaps I divorce, don't find a man I want to marry, he passes away, or the man I enjoy spending my life with is not wealthy enough to support me and our children. Nothing says there's a guarantee to marrying a wealthy man that I am safe, happy, and comfortable with, and what if I don't find that man for a while? I'll be supporting myself for a few years, so I'll need to have a stable career.
Despite our genders, my boyfriend and I both crave love and attention.
Those desires do not skip him just because he is a man.
He wants a partner who will give to him. He'd feel like I didn't care about him if I didn't reciprocate the financial giving that he provides to me. I'd feel like he didn't care about me if he didn't reciprocate the emotional support I provided for him. I want a man who will make my house a home, and I want to make the man I love's house a home for him. A relationship is mutual between two people who are passionate for each other and wish to go out of their way to support each other.
Dating back in American culture, the man has brought in the money while the woman has provided the emotions. These roles have changed, however, because people recognize that men, in fact, do have emotions and society does not, in fact, implode if they express them. And society has not imploded since I bought my boyfriend his Valentine's Day present. Loving my man and wishing to express that via spending some money to surprise him with something he likes is normal.
The culture of your civilization is not the only culture. There is a multitude of values in different cultures such as matriarchal societies, various ideas of marriage, relationships, gender roles, family structures, and various values around the world. Humans have the capability to fulfill a plethora of roles in society despite gender, and on top of that, societies around the world have different ideas of what gender means. Gender roles outlined for you are not universal nor have they remained the same since the beginning of civilization, rather they have evolved and vary around the world.
I love my boyfriend. On Valentine's Day, Christmas, his birthday, and any other day I feel like surprising him with a gift or taking him out, I'm going to spend that money on him. It feels good to give. You should try it.
