Stop Telling Me 'You’ll Want Kids When You’re Older' | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Life Stages

'Oh, You’ll Want Kids When You’re Older' And Other Incorrect Statements People Tell Me

Despite assuming I’d come around to the idea of certain societal norms, that hasn’t exactly panned out as once-thought.

419
'Oh, You’ll Want Kids When You’re Older' And Other Incorrect Statements People Tell Me

This past weekend, my mother joined me for a dreaded, but the necessary, trip to Walmart. It was a fairly painless trip overall, except for the tantrum-ing child we encountered on our way in. I couldn't see the child, but I definitely could hear some unfortunate horror that befell the child. Who knows, it might've been a lost pacifier or skipped over toy aisle. Regardless, I cringed so hard at the sound that I almost caught a charley-horse in my foot. I like my grocery trips to consist of my shopping list and me- that's it. Now, if I had a dime for every time someone told me that I'd "understand when [I] have kids," I'd at least have enough to purchase my load of groceries.

Not to say that I don't like children, but I grit my teeth at the thought of possibly having my own children.

As someone who ALWAYS knew she wanted children, my mother's always found it astounding that neither myself nor my sister, really want children. She's always been perfectly OK with it, but she just couldn't, and still can't, relate. My father seems fairly indifferent as well, and I appreciate them for allowing us to maintain our residing attitudes.

I can't say with complete certainty that my mind will never change, but it's doubtful. The life I've envisioned for myself since I can remember never accounted for raising children. I've always had a career-oriented mindset, and in turn, a severe case of tunnel vision. That's not to say raising a few rescue dogs might not be in the picture. (Dogs seem like a reasonable amount of responsibility without the steep level of commitment.)

It's not just the idea of children, though, because I'm not all that fond of the idea of marriage, either. To be fair, I'm not against marriage itself. I've just taken issue with some of the faulty dynamics of marriage.

Honestly, I think this stems from many of the marriages that I've observed throughout my life. Of course, I understand that marriage isn't a perfect entity, but my disenchantment goes beyond the common ups and downs of any marriage.

As another unrelatable area for my mother and myself, I think I made a better case recently for my qualms with marriage.

After a recent conversation regarding my disillusionment with marriage, I've come to view my stance as more of a precautionary measure, rather than an outright distaste. I don't take issue with the idea of marriage just to be a self-proclaimed non-conformist; I really just think some introspective evaluation of relationship dynamics would go a long way.

Mainly, I've seen a couple of underlying, problematic themes: people grow apart and people passively accept unhappy relationships. Although it's said that "opposites attract," I think it's important to note that opposites might not remain attracted. While finding a person who offers qualities you lack can be beneficial, having minimal common interests or mutual goals in life can be a real headache. Even if, in the beginning, you think your differences present some sort of balance, they might just drive a wedge down the road.

As such, say this metaphorical wedge is driven between you and whomever, I've seen plenty of people just live with it. I'm not one for confrontation, so I understand not wanting to initiate World War III over the fact that you want to spend the weekend organizing the closet and the other wants to split time between fishing and watching six hours of [insert any sport here]. At what point, though, are the growing differences and opposing pursuits addressed? It's wild to me that a couple will just remain mutually unhappy and go on with an unfulfilling, tension-filled life.

Now, like all great think-pieces, I must make some disclaimers. First, I don't think not wanting kids makes me selfish, and I think it's great that some people adore the idea of having their own children. Secondly, I know at 21 years of age that I'm not a marriage or relationship expert. However, based on the observations I've made over at least a decade's time — starting with my parent's divorce and continuing with many other closely observed relationships- I've noticed these indisputable themes.

As such, I don't think all viewpoints of having children or getting married should be cast in a dark, dismal light. I just think there needs to be a level of realism. I think society, in general, promotes this idealistic idea of "married life" or "family life." While there are certainly many good, worthwhile aspects, there are serious, real-world ramifications that should be accounted for beforehand. Big life decisions as these shouldn't warrant an "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" type of attitude. Consider whether "that bridge" is stable, consider where "that bridge" leads, consider when or if the time is optimal to cross "that bridge."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

190014
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

14782
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

457761
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26581
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments