In my past, I have struggled due to forcing relationships with the wrong people. We are young, and sometimes that's what we do. However, as I have grown, so has my understanding of what a relationship is truly supposed to be. A bond like this cannot be forcibly forged; it must be cultivated organically. As relationships progressed for me in the past, the endless line of questioning began like clockwork. Will it last? Is he right for me? The difference with the right thing is that you no longer question is, you just know.
1. No matter how badly he wants to be with you, and how strong the connection is between you two, he will ensure that you fully love YOURSELF before giving love to him.
It is easy to take advantage of a broken person. Those that do not love themselves have a far greater tolerance threshold for maltreatment. They think they deserve it, and that any relationship they have won't be any better because of who THEY are. It takes a perceptive, selfless individual to recognize that you need to restore your relationship with yourself before you begin building one with someone else.
2. Your eyes will become his first language.
Girls, if you are like me, you try to conceal what you are feeling to keep the peace and make things easier. The right person won't accept this withholding of truthful emotion. He will read between the lines and not give up until the story in your eyes tells of happiness and nothing else. Successful relationships are built on trust, honesty and openness, not pretending that everything's great.
3. Even if he is the reason you are hurting, there is nothing in the world that can make you feel better than your head against his chest.
Sometimes we all let the small, petty arguments get the best of us. Hurtful words get tossed around, tears are shed and voices are raised higher than they should be. You walk away, wiping your tears, and isolate yourself trying to get past it–because the last thing you want to do is be near him. However, the second he comes back, and wraps his arm around you, the tears start drying and it's as if his touch is sealing all of the freshly-opened wounds. You wanted space, but then you realize, you don't want him to let go. Not now, not ever.
4. You will never go to bed unsure, unloved, or unhappy.
This one speaks for itself.
Obviously, knowing you've found the right person is much more multi-faceted than this brief list I've composed. I know I am with the right person because we slow-dance in our living room, perfectly in sync without any music playing, we are just as happy eating ramen in our underwear as we are dining out at a five-star restaurant, and nothing is as intoxicating to me as his smile.
However, the brief list defines the non-negotiable qualities, in my book. My intent is not to shame any relationships, of course, but to emphasize the importance of never settling. Don't rush into anything, or pretend something is more than it is.
When it's right, you'll know.