You would never know by looking at me what was going on in my head. My face and my body don’t naturally reflect the millions of things I am feeling, thinking, and experiencing. My smile when I say hello or my outward appearance might not show you the fears and the insecurities I have. Sure, I may look happy, or maybe just tired. But on the inside I could be breaking apart- holding myself together with tape and glue. Maybe my smile is hiding the fact that I’m terrified of the future, or of my day to day struggles. Maybe my cute dress is hiding the insecurities I have about my body. Maybe I avoid eye contact or stay silent not because I am rude but because I just can’t handle interactions with others at this point in time. Or maybe none of those things are true.
The truth is that we often never have any idea what is going on below the surface of most people, even our closest friends. As humans who live in a highly categorical society it is easy for us to make judgments and assumptions about others just by the way they look or seem to us. By doing so, however, we overlook the truth; we can never know everything about a person just through simple interactions. Everyone is more complex than they seem; even the most open people or our closest friends might have thoughts, behaviors, fears, or insecurities that we would never know about. While we thrive on communication amongst each other, it is sometimes impossible to express certain things. And sometimes the last thing we want in this world is for everyone to know all our secrets.
Personally, I know I hide parts of myself from the world, parts that I don’t always want people to see. In some ways, I think it makes me strong; it makes me believe that I have strength to keep some of my personal demons from infringing on my whole life. However, in other ways it makes me weak, because I could be hiding who I am rather than embracing it, or hiding how I feel rather than dealing with it. I grew up thinking that showing my full self made me vulnerable- that by sharing all my secrets I was at the mercy of other people. However, as I have grown up, and dealt with my own inner struggles I have changed my perspective. Sharing yourself with others- the ugly parts that you would never know just by looking at you, makes you strong. It opens your world to the trust and support that comes from letting others into your world and takes away some of the power that those demons hold.
It is still not easy revealing yourself to others, even to your closest friends who already know most of your faults. In fact, most of the time the idea of trusting people with your biggest secrets and flaws is downright terrifying. Exposure of your true self is not meant to be easy though, which is why it takes more courage and strength than hiding behind the façade of your daily self. But nothing feels better than knowing that there is someone out there who really knows the true you- the good and the bad.
