Hey y'all, I'm Paula Dean! Just kidding. It's 2017, and if you were so caught off-guard by how quickly the new year came that you forgot to make a New Years' resolution, I'm here to help. This list is just to get you started, but by no means am I discouraging creativity. You'll find some of the classics here as well as some more innovative options to get your #NewYearNewMe goals off to a great start.
50 New Year's Resolutions For a Stellar 2017
1. Work out at least four times a week
2. No soda
3. Only spend money that you have in cash
4. Learn a new language
5. Go back to school and finish your degree
6. Take up a new hobby
7. Go back to church
8. Travel to a new country
9. Buy a house
10. Stop smoking
11. Start smoking
12. Colonize an island and require the indigenous people to refer to you as "Dad"
13. Write a screenplay
14. Donate money to charity
15. Volunteer once a week
16. Take a road trip
17. Visit your grandparents
18. Tell your parents you love them more
19. Buy more things that you know that you don't need, use them once, then store them underneath your bed
20. Prevent forest fires
21. Learn all of the words to "Ice, Ice, Baby"
22. Misquote historical figures to prove your point at least twice a week
23. Use "reply all" to send personal responses in group emails at work
24. Vlog all of your bowel movements
25. Shave your eyebrows
26. Leave your Christmas lights up all year
27. Commit more felonies
28. Rob a bank
29. Steal the Eiffel Tower
30. Recreate "National Treasure"
31. Convince all of the people in a nursing home that the rapture is happening
32. Forget all of your friends birthdays
33. Shout "DAB!" anytime someone sneezes
34. Use obsolete memes to respond in group messages
35. Set up traffic cones in an area where there is no road construction; extra points if you can get them all the way across the street
36. Demand that everyone refer to you by your rap moniker
37. Establish a rap career
38. Make a viral video
39. Adopt 2017 cats
40. Become the world's fattest man
41. Create a secret language and refuse to speak in anything but that language
42. Stay inside for a whole year
43. Get addicted to heroin
44. Start rumors about celebrities
45. Don't make any more resolutions
46. Legally change your name to Harambe
47. Bring back the meat dress
48. Anytime someone asks you to do something, respond by saying, "Speak to my agent."
49. Become a meme
50. Say "to be continued" anytime a conversation ends, you leave a room, etc.
To be continued...
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
