Pity party for one, please!
In the end of August, I become very much alone. My hometown friends have all gone off for college, leaving me alone to work my a** off before school starts once again. Which is a good thing, I swear.
I'm in a long distance relationship, so my best friend is not in-person with me, either. I've started to get the same feelings as I did last year before school. The same feelings of being and feeling alone. However, I then feel guilty for feeling this way, because I'm not really "alone." I still have my friends and my boyfriend; they're just not here in person. It can be so difficult at night when I have nothing to do and no one is really texting me.
"But, Chloe, you could simply text them!" Great idea! But when they're off doing other things, that gets a little difficult. I almost can't help but feeling lonely, which just makes me sad. Then, when they do talk to me, I'm a downer and not very fun to talk to you. This article isn't just me complaining on and on, I swear.
I've been wondering why I feel this way. Do I feel like they're forgetting me? Do I think they don't like me anymore? None of these are just quite it. I get insecure. I wonder why they are even friends with me. I'm practically just a loser looking for someone to talk to. I want that someone to be the people I know and love, is that so wrong?
I know I am not alone. I know if there was an emergency, they would be there for me. The trouble is, this isn't an emergency, but when you're home alone with your parents for a week straight, it sort of becomes one.
I think we all need to remember it's okay to feel things. It's okay to feel lonely from time to time, as long as it isn't a continuous thing. If so, get out there and make some new friends. I don't feel lonely all the time, thankfully. The real challenge is remembering that even if there aren't people around you, you don't have to be lonely and it doesn't mean you are alone. Learn to enjoy some time spent with just you. This can be really hard for me, as sometimes I can have really negative thoughts and don't want to dwell on them. Rely on yourself for some sunshine and self-reflection. We all need some time alone, to process the world around us. Maybe you'll learn something new about yourself.
Was this a lot of ramblings and half-decent sentences? Yes. Were the ideas half-explored? Yes. Is there some real truth to what I'm even saying? Yes.
