Housewives sometimes grunt and gravity loves laundry that plays Xbox but you know what they say about water bottles that wear hearing aids: lamps need protein.

If that meant anything to you, if it connected with you on a spiritual level and you are now a changed human being, please, leave me a comment and we will continue working together to achieve your inner transcendence.

If you looked at that sentence and either judiciously concluded I’m on drugs or insane or just really, really weird, welcome— welcome to the art of oratorical randomization.

While I wouldn’t recommend using this technique as a pick-up line or a killer interview opener, saying random, nonsensical sentences out loud to yourself can be a great de-stressor and function as a genuine catalyst for creative ideas. Essentially, you maintain subject-verb structure, but besides that, you let your brain go.

“But what if someone hears me, oh my gosh, they’ll think I’m soooo weird,” you immediately ask. Well, first off, we’re all weird. Especially you. And me. Great, so that’s cleared. Secondly, if you’re feeling self-conscious about saying your sentences out loud, then you can always write them down. But believe me, hearing yourself saying the most random, ridiculous things can make you— and even people you’re with— laugh so, freaking hard.

Because think about it: when we have writer’s block or are stuck in a frustrating pit of bad ideas, our minds are warped with tension. Imagine Jack Dawson drawing one of his French girls while repetitively pumping out some bicep curls. Exactly— impossible. And even if he tried, he’d just look like a really confused, really anachronistic gym shark. But the point is, creativity is limited by repetitive tension in our heads, going over the same crappy ideas incessantly and simultaneously packing frustration into a tight ball within our chests.

People have suggested all types of remedies— reading a book, taking a break and relaxing, running— but c’mon, when have any of these things seemed like the best option? You have to do work to pick up a book and read it, move out of your chair to relax, and running? HA. "Just do it" my *expletive.*

But with oratorical randomization, you don’t have to do anything except put down what you’re doing and let go. Let go of the tension in your head, focus on saying the first thing that pops up in your consciousness, and then roll with it. Believe me. You’re so going to laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire situation. It’s a great time.

So try it. And if you don’t feel like saying it out loud, I dare you. That doesn’t really amount to anything, but still, you really should. Because in doing so, you’re letting go of the tension in your head, the tension in your body, and the tension in your situation, because not caring what anyone thinks and being present in the moment is the greatest way to attack whatever assignment lays before you.

To encourage you, here are a couple more examples of what my brain, and yours too, can come up with:

When hens go to the moon, bikes grow pimples, and I swear my uncle licked cows when padded furniture ate the sun.

Cinnamon has been known to eat grass on Christmas but that doesn’t really matter because Neil drank skeleton piss in February where PlayStation 4 was dancing in rain.

Strings are apples sometimes because molecular soap explodes, yet Obama still uses octopi cereal for pear strings, and paper used to shuffle with Peter the Great.

Once, birds could rave, which means light boils and monkeys use yellow convertibles in sock tubes.