Lao Tzu once said: "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like". Keeping that in mind, recognize that you were a different person at 16 then you were at 18, and again different at 20, 21, 24, etc.
Whether this change comes from being in school and interacting with people that give you different points of view, or from the work force where you strike up new relationships with people that you wouldn't have previously met, you get a chance to change and grow into what and who you are meant to be.
With this change comes a shift in dynamics within your groups and friendships. This is perfectly normal, as everyone is exploring different avenues and taking different career paths. Good friends will support you as you begin new and taxing internships, start new jobs, and learn new things. But then there will be those who don't understand. Those who want you to be the same person you've always been, who don't celebrate the opportunities that have given you the chance to grow. They hit you with the "You've changed."
Since when is it a bad thing? At 18 I thought chunky red highlights were THE coolest hair look I've ever had. I wore ripped flared jeans, and I thought it was slutty to wear leggings as pants. So yeah, I have definitely changed since then. But when did changing become a bad thing? The "Glo Up" hashtag was an enlightening reminder that thankfully we all have changed. So why do people shove change in your face like you've wronged them?
It's because the change no longer benefits them. You've changed from what they expect you to be, and rather than embrace that change, and celebrate your growth they try and stunt it. These people will give you grief for wanting to be something different than you were before. At age 3 I told my dad I wanted to be a crossing guard "because I wanna boss people around." At 24 I've learned how to word that gracefully in an interview--I have good leadership skills,"-- and my career aspirations have changed.
Some of my friends knew by their sophomore year of high school what career they wanted to pursue, while others changed majors multiple times, myself included. Those changes should be encouraged by your true friends, and while they may not love your nose ring, or your platinum blonde hair, they should cheer on those changes with comments like "Yyyaasssss queen" and "Work it bae".
You should never change, or resist changing, because of another person. Everyone is on a journey of self-discovery and most of your adolescence and twenties is spent figuring out what DOESN'T work. (Again, sorry about the dreads the summer of 2012 mom.) What makes you the unique concoction of awesome that you are is the multiple changes and phases you've gone through in order to pick and choose what you do and don't like.
Sometimes those changes aren't by choice, be it the diagnosis of an illness or a behavioral disorder, the loss of a loved one, or an injury or accident. These changes are out of your control, and while they might not always be visible they are still prevalent in your life and present challenges that some people might not understand. Not all change is good change, but change will always provide you with something to learn and take away from it.
Don't be afraid of change, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for changing. You are allowed to live your own adventure, and a true friend will adapt to this road and make sure they support you as you take it. You might lose people along the way, because everyone we meet is either supposed to serve as a lifelong bond or a lesson.
And while it's natural to want to turn around and fix the rift between you and someone who doesn't appreciate your change, you should never look backwards because you're not going that way. If they're meant to be in your life they will show up again down the road. It's uncomfortable going through a segway in your life and losing people you thought were going to be there forever, but it would be even more uncomfrotable to remain stagnant and not reach your potential because you didn't want to be alone.
