The other night, I was sitting on my back porch with a cup of dirt (dessert) in my hand when my sister appeared and asked if my mom or I wanted to finish hers. Neither of ours had been finished: my mom said no; and I, instead of leaving it at that, felt the need to tack on a "No, I shouldn't" at the end. As if that is a reason in and of itself not to have an extra spoonful of the pudding treat.

Because it wasn't a "no, I shouldn't, I'm too full and I might explode with one more bite". It was a "no, I shouldn't, I'm trying to eat well and that one bite is going to soil it". After it came out of my mouth, I felt ridiculous for thinking that way--a mindset that I've carried along with me for too long. Generally, I eat well. Sometimes, I get into a negative mental space where a red rim encircles those sugary sweets I love so much and screams, "No. Bad." As if they are the defining factor of my diet.

And there's the rub.

As women, we are expected to fit the mold with toned, lithe bodies, and feel shame when we see pudge on our bellies or skin that flaps under our arms. No matter how healthy and strong we are, the stigma concerning the female body has become the picture of "skinnny". I know I am not alone in saying that I have and continue to struggle with body image... And while fast food for every meal may only make those insecurities within me flare, one burger shouldn't. Nor should the guilt for guilt ever get to us. Who let food hold so much power over us?

The real question should be WHY shouldn't I? We have become programmed to believe that some cookies, a couple of slices of pizza, a treat of any sort is going to wreck us. That by passing on the things we love, we are going to get that beach body (which I'm not sure I know exactly what that means, because aren't all bodies beach bodies?). Some vision of the body that we desire overtakes and, by gosh, treat yo'self is no more--otherwise, nothing will ever change.

Except that this mantra needs to. Completely cutting certain foods out will only induce more cravings, and frustration. Life is too short to live it so strictly. Yes, moderation is vital to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but the key word here is moderation. Don't overindulge all the time, but have that piece of cake with ice cream because you want it.

Let's talk about balanced meals. Food is fuel, and gives us energy to live the unprecedented life we want. But food is love, too. Food is passion. And if someone ever asks you if you want one more bite, say yes. You've done nothing to give any other answer.