We already owe enough bills, loans and debt to then add unnecessary obligations for people on top of it.
"I don't owe you anything."
A statement we forget to remind ourselves, when becoming lost in a friendship or relationship. Is this considered selfish? No.
We fall into these "standards" that we are placed in, by the people we surround ourselves with. Let me ask you - Why?
We aren't baking dough molded into these cookie cutter replicas of expectations and invisible responsibility.
That is the tricky part nowadays, people don't always mean to be manipulative. However, don't be surprised, that even people you love, or those who would never want to wrong you, may or will put themselves and their needs before yours. These type of people are dangerous to be surrounded by, emotionally. They make you feel as if you owe them something, whether it is your time, or commitment or even response.
You don't.
We give ourselves excuses.
"Oh I'm her best friend, I have to do this..." "Everyone is going to be doing it, I can't be the odd one out." "He bought me flowers... So that means I have to kiss him" "She says she loves me, so I should I have to ask her to marry me."
You shouldn't feel bad or wrong for expressing your emotions. Whether it is a changed viewpoint, new discovery or a plain brutal reality check.
If you have a change of heart or are unsure about your feelings, be honest with yourself about it. There is no need to drag yourself down or remain stagnant where you are. Change whatever you have control over.
I personally know two different people are undergoing different challenges in their lives, where think they have to do something because they owe that person.
The first person (Let's refer to her as X) is a girl, who's father isn't speaking to her because she refused to marry at the young age of 18, to someone she had never met. X feels that she has a duty to "please her parents", in whatever way that makes them happy. Her father isn't forcing her into this marriage, however, he would prefer it, so she would be "set for life". However, she owes it to herself to prove to her parents that she *is* capable of working hard and taking care of herself. It's much easier said than done, but at the end of the day, it is your life. Your parents or family always want the best for you, however, you are in control. Don't let people guilt you into a decision you know isn't right.
The other story is about a girl, (Let's refer to her as Y) who broke up with her boyfriend after 2 months, but she's treated as if she did not have the "right" to break up. Her boyfriend's reasoning to convince her otherwise was, "I introduced to my family."
So? If a relationship is just not working out, save time, there is no "need" to stay together. Why? Just because she met your family... that means she owes you more unreal commitment? She doesn't.
Don't let people guilt you into staying in a relationship.
This life is temporary and too short to waste it on anything less than you deserve.
Become honest with people about who you are... What you want and how you expect to be treated. Standards only scare off the people that are not meant for you.
