I’m writing this for those who have made mistakes. Those who wallow in self-pity and guilt for their mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my mistakes and maybe I’m a cautionary tale to not let yourself get so worked up over things. This is a difficult thing to write. But, the best things to write are the ones which you actually feel something about. They make you tighten your chest and makes you take deep sighs because they’re so much more rewarding because they let something off your chest.

So yes I made a mistake. Or rather I didn’t know myself well enough and that caused me to slip up. End of the day I messed up. And we all do it at some point in life and it’s not the end of the world. But it felt like it. When you make a mistake that impacts your relationships it feels like the end of the world. I felt alone and sad and angry at myself.

People said some hurtful things; people I cared about and thought cared about me. And I believed them. I made a mistake so I must’ve messed everything up and I surely was getting what I deserved? It took me a long time to realize I was putting myself through pain and misery for something that wasn’t on me but my so-called friends. I was dropped just like that.

I was iced out. In a moment where I thought my friends would be there for me, they weren’t and they blamed me. I believed them because I’m a naive person and I’d like to think everyone has good intentions. I hadn’t seen genuinely bad people in my life who were mal-intended. Especially not friends.

Your worth isn’t decided by the validation by others…even if that’s how you feel. Toxic people exist and you can’t let them dictate how you feel about yourself. People have agendas and they can be selfish and they can be self-serving and you can't let that control how you view yourself.

People can make you feel like shit. Plain and simple. You blame yourself and you overthink things to extents that aren't even logically possible. You let it hurt you. But you shouldn't because at the end of the day you recognize what you did and you need to try and grow from it rather than let it bring you down and tear you apart. Growing is being the bigger person.

People you care about in your life will inevitably hurt you, but instead of lashing out and shaming them to others let it give you something to hold onto. That you acknowledge the harm they did and you're moving on and bettering yourself.

And I’m not upset. I’m not upset or angry about the friends I lost or what they did to me. It’s good I found out soon they weren’t planning on sticking around through thick and thin. You want friends who will be there at your lowest lows to pick you up and have fun with you at your highs. I wish them all the best because I don’t hate them and I don’t wish any harm. We all deserve our best even if we can’t give that to others.

So yes Rhea you messed up. You made a mistake. But to err is human and if you can acknowledge you slipped up and learn from it and truly grow that’s all you can ask of yourself. Being the best you is learning from your mistakes and growing.

And I’m proud to say yes Rhea you slipped up but you’ve grown from that and you’re a better person now.

Yeah you’re not the best person in the world (far from it you tell a lot of jokes in poor taste not going to lie) but everyone has their flaws we can’t expect to be perfect and say exactly the right things at the right moments to the right people because that’s just not how life works. You need to make mistakes to improve. We’re all just trying to get by and get better every day.