I'm not sure how to start this out. I have so much on my heart and so much that I want to say, so I guess I can start this out by saying that everyone makes mistakes. I get that. I understand that, but sometimes we don't always understand why. What is the reason or the purpose behind some of the mistakes that we make? Only God knows and here is my story.

I have always grown up in a Christian household, but during the summer of 2012, my family and I began attending a different church than the one we had always gone to since I was about five years old. During this summer, I was fourteen years old at the time, and I began making new friends with some people from our youth group; I actually met a boy who I started to like a little bit. And nowadays, both teenagers and adults exchange phone numbers and social media to talk and, of course, that is what this boy and I did. Little by little we started talking and we eventually started "dating." Now that I'm older and look back at this, I wouldn't necessarily call it dating but that's beside the point. Just like any young teen relationship, you expect the constant texting and that's what we would do and had face-to-face conversations when we got the chance. I guess now is the time to mention that at the time I was fourteen and he was sixteen. Before we started "dating," I had heard some rumors about this boy, but the naïve fourteen-year-old I was, didn't care.

Time went on and he told me he wanted to have sex with me and at that instant, I panicked and responded with the answer no and how it's not right. I thought he seemed okay with the answer that I gave him, but I guess not since he kept on insisting. One night while we were texting, he had mentioned to me how his family was not going to be in town for a couple of days and that he could drive to my house at midnight, pick me up, and hang out (I almost forgot to mention, we lived 20 minutes away from each other). I knew from the start that this was not a good idea and I even told him that I did not want to do this, but his response was exactly: "Okay fine, I won't ever talk to you." and as soon as my eyes read this text, I got upset because I did not want to lose him. I quickly then responded that I would sneak out of my house.

Not long after that, I got picked up and we drove back to his house. As I was in the car with him, I knew I was in trouble. My heart was racing and all I could think about is how my family would react once they realized I wasn't at home. I knew they would be back at home panicking, which is what exactly what they were doing. Once we got to his house, I was receiving multiple texts from different people asking me where I was and where did I go. Not only was I getting text messages, but the boy that I was with was too. It wasn't long before he got a phone call from out youth minister asking him if he knew where I was, but of course, he said that didn't know. Our youth minster came and picked him up and drove back to my house because cops were already involved as well. Before the boy was picked up I remember he told me to stay in the house until he got back and that he would take me home. A few minutes later, I was in his house all by myself. I was crying, my heart was racing, and I already knew that there was absolutely no way of getting out of this. After hours went by, our youth minster, my parents, the boy, and the cops all showed up at the house. From there arguing and so many emotions took place and I was taken home.

I thought that I could get over this easily, and in some cases I did. I was strong enough but still to this day, I have to go back because that's a memory I don't want to have, but I do and I always will. I'll admit after this happened I was depressed, I didn't want to be around people who knew about the situation because I feared getting talked about, but God showed me how great he is and the love he has for us even during our darkest moments (Romans 5:8)