This past weekend, my photographer friend had an assignment to capture self-image — the true self. Although I don’t have the “ideal” body, she wanted to use me and another friend to help with her project. She has always provided such a warm message that it doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what is inside that matters. I can’t believe it took me until my early twenties to finally accept the body that I have, and without my friends, I wouldn’t be so inspired by this.

When I was in high school, I thought image was everything. At my lowest weight, I still hated my body. My thighs were my worst enemies. Not only did I work out every morning before school, but I dieted and binged. I enjoyed the pain in my stomach, but I never got closer to what I wanted to look like. One day, I printed out a picture of a girl modeling a bikini I wanted and made myself stare at it to entice myself to lose more weight. I continually put myself down and covered my body because I still didn’t accept how I looked.

In my first year of college, I did put on weight (freshmen “15”) and because of medication prescribed for my anxiety, I gained more. Although I make the occasional bad choice in foods, I still maintained the diet of eating when I need to. Today, I only eat when I have the chance to due to my busy schedule, but I always strive for the better decision. Should I go back to exercising? Yes. Should I put myself back on a diet? I should, but every time I start to diet, I revert back to hiding myself.

Am I failing myself by not maintaining a diet and exercise routine? My photographer friend always said that you should be happy with yourself. Eat what makes you happy, and do what makes you happy. Don’t let yourself drown in what is ideal. We all make our own decisions in life, whether they are healthy or not, but the most attractive thing about any person is who they are.

Over the past few decades self-image has made men and woman focus on what is the perfect body: muscles, lean, thin… etc. But remember the old adage to never judge a book by its cover. It will always be what is on the inside that matters and that must continue to be the anthem. Do what makes you happy. You have to like the person looking back at you in the mirror, and if not, then you need to get to know them. That is who you are and you have to love the person that you are.