When I was a kid/angsty teen just trying to find my way in the world, I asked my mom 100 daily questions. When she'd had enough of my asking one in particular, "When will I know I've met the man I should marry?" she responded, "When you stop having to ask me that question." I've had plenty of time to think about this, especially in my relationship with my almost-husband. Now, I've developed my own personal rules for how I knew, and how you might, too.
1. You never get sick of each other.
2. Suddenly, everything gets easier.
Even waking up in the morning for work gets better, knowing you're waking up beside that person and coming home to them at the end of the day.
3. You realize how unnecessarily dramatic your previous relationships might have been.
The pettiness, jealousy and struggle for peace has fallen away as your security has grown. Man, oh man, is it great to receive a text saying, "We need to talk," and knowing it's more likely to be a request for a puppy than a breakup notice.
4. Everybody's waiting for you to take the next step, whatever it may be.
5. You stop asking yourself, "How will I know?"
You just do. Like my mom said, you stop asking yourself that question, and start making reasons for why you're positive it's right.
6. You can be your goofiest, most obnoxious self.
They don't love you in spite of your weirdness. They appreciate you for it. Furthermore, they're likely to just go with it and act a fool, as well.
7. You solve problems in a healthy, progressive way.
Fight? What's that? Structured arguments and constructive conflict are the way to grow, man. Instead of fighting with the goal of winning or being heard, you focus on the goal of improving the relationship.
8. Your crush may die down, but you're secretly thanking the heavens you never have another awkward first date.
Can I get an amen from the people who don't run out of conversational topics every five minutes?
9. You can turn anything into an adventure.
For the love of God, build a fort and play cards in your PJs. It'll be the best date of your life.
10. All of your needs for love, support and stability are met.
Need to rant about work or friend drama? You have a listening ear. And a confidence boost? Remember this person chooses you for everything you are. It's like having your own personal cheerleader.
Crap, I just referenced a pop song.
11. You just get the feeling that this one is not like the others.
Who else would voluntarily put up with you all the time?
12. Asking serious questions isn't scary. In fact, you anticipate the idea of where this thing could go.
How many kids do you want? Where should we settle down? Can I meet your family?
13. You have similar goals and dreams. And you can help each other meet those goals.
When things start coming together, you realize why your past relationships never worked out. In this one, you share the same vision for your future. You set career and family goals, together. The icing on the cake is accomplishing these goals and building a life, together. This is true love, and suddenly you know what that means.
