There is a city that shines like gold, right in the middle of the American Heartland. This city is Des Moines, Iowa. Incorporated in 1851, Des Moines is a mix of old and new, and is currently in a Renaissance period all its own. Of course, if you have the special privilege of calling Des Moines home, you'll find each of the following to be true:

1. Pronouncing “Des Moines” comes as no problem to you.

For some reason, people outside of Iowa have no idea how to pronounce “Des Moines”. You know that the ‘s’ is silent in both words, and that ‘Moines’ is one syllable long. Think ‘duh’ for Des (As in, “Duh! I obviously know how to pronounce the name of the capital of Iowa!”) and Moines is just ‘coin’, if you exchange the ‘c’ for an ‘m’.

2. You constantly have to explain where you’re from.

Apparently, other states in the United States made the upper years of elementary school optional, because no one can else can seem to understand where Iowa is. Iowans pride ourselves on knowing our own region well, but our knowledge stretches from sea to shining sea. Also, Iowa has cities, just like every other state, so NO, we don’t all live on farms. And we’re definitely not Ohio or Idaho.

3. You're probably not actually from Des Moines.

Okay, so if you’re from the 515, you probably live in Altoona, Ankeny, Bondurant, Carlisle, Clive, Cumming, Grimes, Johnston, Norwalk, Pleasant Hill, Urbandale, Waukee, West Des Moines, or Windsor Heights. You also know the stereotypes of each suburb, like which one you absolutely cannot speed in.

4. You know no end to the rivalries over professional sports.

Des Moines doesn’t have an NBA, NHL, NFL, or MLB team, so the fans of surrounding teams live side by side in relative disharmony. NBA support is all over the board, but Chicago Bulls fans are the most common, due to proximity. For NHL teams, you’re probably looking mostly at the Avalanche, Wild, Blues, and Blackhawks fans, who are all sharing one city. When it comes to football, the support is divided between the Vikings, Broncos, Chiefs, Packers, and Bears. Our baseball fans are split between the Twins, the Royals, the Cardinals, the Brewers, the White Sox, and the almighty Chicago Cubs (My dog’s name is Wrigley. We don’t take sports lightly in Des Moines). We may not have Big Four teams locally, but they live in our hearts (and games are probably just a few hours away via either I-80 or I-35). In the immortal words of The Lonely Island, "We like sportz, and we don't care who knows".

5. You have a strong answer when asked "Hawkeyes or Cyclones?".

Iowa versus Iowa State is a tooth-and-nail battle. When someone asks you which team you support, you’re going to be judged. Deal with it. As neither school is in Des Moines, the split remains pretty even. The CyHawk game is the highlight of your autumn, and March Madness keeps you sweating every year. People who have “house divided” merchandise are lying to themselves. However, pretty much everyone likes to see the Drake Bulldogs and the Panthers of UNI do well.

6. But you'd never dare to forget about our home teams.

We may not have a sports dynasty, but that doesn’t mean that Des Moines isn’t a city of fans. The Barnstormers and the Buccaneers? Two great teams, and you’re guaranteed to have a good time at those games. We also have a couple of minor league affiliates – the Iowa Cubs and the Iowa Wild – so it’s easy to see an awesome game at a mind-blowingly low price.

7. You’ve had a lengthy discussion about which mall is better.

Merle Hay, Valley West, Southridge, or Jordan Creek – you have an opinion, and you’ll sit around debating which has the best stores, the best food court, the best movie theater, and the worst Black Friday.

8. You have a favorite HyVee, but you also have a backup HyVee and an arsenal of safety HyVees

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I’m a college kid who attends school in a state depraved of the world’s greatest grocery store. (Yeah, that means that HyVee Chinese is only available during breaks.) We have a plethora of those beauties in Des Moines, and each is waiting for you to come and spend all of your money. If you’re in high school or college, you can also be sure to run into half of your graduating class working the registers.

9. You have the most beautiful state capitol in the country.

Do not fight me on this. Look at that gold leaf. It’s iconic and it stands as a beacon of Iowa values (and politics). Don’t be afraid to go inside – it’s just as impressive. Take a tour up to the dome, or poke your head into the law library.

10. There are the most amazing foods imaginable available right at your fingertips.

Whoever said Des Moines doesn’t have great restaurants – no, wait. No one would be stupid enough to say that. You love the majestic Jethro’s, the glorious (or should I say, gory-ous) Zombie Burger, the classy Centro, the funky fusion of Django, and the to-die-for B-Bop’s. You know where to find Crab Rangoon Pizza that will knock your socks off (Fong’s Pizza) and where to get a throwback to the 60’s (High Life Lounge). There is a reason that Man v. Food came to Des Moines (and Adam lost the challenge to food, so that says a lot).

11. The arts are thriving all around you.

We’re not all beef and athletics. We are cultured as hell. You definitely have taken a picture inside “Nomade” by Jaume Plensa (above) at the Pappajohn Sculpture Park, and you hold the Des Moines Art Center in high regard. Hoyt Sherman Place hosts amazing performances in an 1877 manor home, while Simon Estes Amphitheater brings the music outside. Des Moines Performing Arts brings the best musicals Broadway has to offer right here to Iowa. Of course, it would be impossible to forget about 80/35, the music festival of all music festivals.

12. The State Fair is the highlight of your summer.

There’s only one place on Earth to eat fresh pineapple that’s been deep fried in funnel cake batter on a stick while looking at a cow made of butter, and that’s the Iowa State Fair. You know at least one person who camps out for the entire fair (in the August heat), but you probably enjoy staying at your reasonably-priced home (our cost of living is remarkably low) and driving over for a day (or two, or ten).

13. You’ve seen more than enough politicians to last a lifetime.

Some people think that Iowa only matters during the election season. Those people are ignorant. Why? Because we don’t have an “election season”. Politicians are here every year. Every. Single. Year. While you’re staring at that butter cow, you’re probably standing next to someone kissing babies and preaching to the masses (or the cameras) about the direction of the country.

14. You can't escape stories about the Flood of ‘93.

I’d like to preface this by saying that I was not alive during 1993, yet I know a lot (way too much) about it. Des Moines sits on the juncture of the Des Moines and the Raccoon Rivers, and while that’s usually a good thing, there was a time when it wasn’t. The water levels rose so high that the Des Moines Water Works was shut down, leaving residents without water for two weeks. And you’ll never forget it, because stories of those wet weeks of ‘93 sneak into every conversation.

15. Speaking of water, you have a strong opinion of West Des Moines water.

I’ve been a resident of West Des Moines for all of my life. I like a nice filtered glass of H20 from the fridge like the rest of you, but our tap water is Heaven-sent. When I come home from college, I take all of my waterbottles with me so that I can fill up at home and bring it back with me. To me, water should have a taste, and that taste is straight out of the W.D.M. Shout out to the West Des Moines Water Works – I’m your biggest fan. However, it is a polarizing issue: everyone who didn’t grow up in West Des Moines seems to hate it.

16. Your skyline looks like a rude hand gesture.

Des Moines may not be skyscraper central, but we’ve got 801 Grand, and that’s really all that matters. Sorry, not sorry.

17. The Farmers' Market is your life.

There’s no better way to spend a Saturday than at the Downtown Farmers' Market. You’ll run into friends, family, classmates, and coworkers while enjoying the weather and (you guessed it) more heart-stoppingly good food. You’ll also flocked by every dog in the Metro area, whether bear-sized or Beanie-bear sized. My Snapchat stories on a Saturday in the summer consist of 20-40 pictures of strangers’ dogs and a picture of me with whatever delightful delicacy I’ve decided to eat that day.

18. You’d love to go to Baconfest.

The Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival, held in – you guessed it – Des Moines - is “The World’s Premier Baconfest”. That’s probably because Iowa is the biggest producer of pork in the United States with an industry worth billions. Even though Baconfest is in your backyard, you’ve probably never gone, because the tickets sell out in mere seconds every year. You have definitely experienced severe jealousy of a friend who posted pictures of their day in Heaven on Facebook.

19. You miss the weather beacon.

"Weather beacon red, warmer weather ahead.

Weather beacon white, colder weather in sight.

Weather beacon green, no change in weather foreseen.

Weather beacon flashing, night or day, precipitation is on the way."

On the morning of Tuesday, September 27th, 2012, the weather beacon, which for so long had us arguing over what that rhyme actually was, left us forever. You were too good for us, weather beacon. We miss you. Please come back.

20. You tell jokes when trick-or-treating.

I didn’t know until college that this is only a Des Moines thing. First of all, you trick-or-treat on Beggar’s Night, October 30th. The right way to trick-or-treat goes as follows: adorable, well-bundled children ring the doorbell or knock. Residents come outside. Children say, “Trick or treat!”. Resident asks the kids for a joke. Each kid, in turn, tell their joke and THEN receive candy. There is none of this namby-pamby wishy-washy stuff about not working for your candy. You have to earn it! Once you’re old enough to remember a joke, you are pretty much required to have one at the ready (and probably a back-up, in case some kid in a Ninja Turtle costume is on the porch at the same time as you and steals your joke). It’s a local phenomenon, and people who move here are probably super confused when little kids start into a stand-up routine, but it’s not changing.

21.You wouldn’t want to call anywhere else home.

Love you long time, Des Moines.