Currently, we live in a society that is constantly judging. It's all about the clothes you wear, the way you look, how much money you own, who you hang out with, and even the things that you say or do. Finding a kindhearted person to talk to is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Where did the people who will just listen and not judge go? What happened to accepting others exactly the way they are? Flaws and all. There is no more getting to know a person before jumping to conclusions and talking about them behind their back. If you don't wear Lily Pulitzer, which by the way in my opinion looks like Barbie threw up on a dress, you're automatically categorized as being poor. If you hang out with people who love theatre, all of a sudden you've been labeled as gay or lesbian. People even go as far as commenting on others who have done something positive, such as calling someone who puts a lot of effort into something they love as an overachiever. It has become a game: How many people can I insult before the day is over? People seem to be so excited to put others down that they practically jump at the chance to make a nasty comment about someone else even if they have never even shared a conversation before. The worst part is that they either don't realize or don't care that gossip and rumors hurt.

I've never understood how people can be so quick to jump to conclusions about others they know nothing about. We tend to ignore the fact that every single person on this planet has a story. So stop judging others before you truly get to know them. Honestly, the truth may surprise you. Take, for example, the girl that you just labeled as clingy and annoying. Well, guess what? She lost her mom at a young age and ever since, she has had high anxiety, especially when it comes to losing other people that are important in her life. What you weren't aware of was that for her making friends isn't easy and she's struggling on the inside, yet instead of trying to help, you shut her down for your own entertainment. It was easier to join in on the bullying so that you could selfishly become part of the “in-crowd” rather than take time and get to know and befriend the girl who needs support in her life. It's not like people choose to have characteristics others may find undesirable; they are being themselves, and that is what's important. They are happy being who God created them to be.

Everyone has become so caught up in labels that they seem to have lost what's truly important in life. Friendships are based on a social status rather than on personalities that click. People jump at the chance to stab others in the back just to climb higher on the social ladder. As soon as they have juicy gossip they race to tell the first person that they can find. What's even worse is when gossip happens to be personal details that shouldn't be shared, especially with other people for whom it has no concern. Or rumors that aren't even close to being true, yet they aren't questioned, just spread. You may think that no one will find out it was you who started the rumor, but it always comes back to bite you in the butt.

Judging a person does not define who they are; it defines who you are. Take, for example, the woman who can't commit to a relationship and likes to just stay friends with men; she gets a ton of nasty comments claiming that she plays with guys' feelings or that she is just a tease. Yet I'm sure you weren't aware that she was abused as a child and has a really hard time trusting because of what she's experienced in the past. So don't be so quick to hate her or label her as a slut because you don't know her past. You've never taken a walk in her shoes, or experienced the world from her eyes. So please tell me, what entitles you to spread rumors about her or judge her for being the person that she happens to be?

Let me tell you, it hurts when people find out about the rumors others spread. It makes you feel alone. That people don't like you. That you're a loser. And that's not how we should be making others feel. Bullying someone isn't a joke; did you know that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States? Or how about that on average there are about 117 suicides a day? This is a serious issue, that shouldn't be taken lightly. Your words and actions affect other people. They actually do have consequences. We should all be supportive of each other instead of tearing one another down. Think of how much could improve if we all just at least smiled at each other, even if we don't know the other person. There is so much hate and disapproval in this world, and if you just took a moment to possibly say hello to the boy sitting by himself at lunch, or invited the girl who always sits alone in her room out to hang with you then you will realize that they are just like you, human. We should be out helping people who need someone to reach out to them, especially if they are too scared so to do it themselves. Instead of excluding people we should be making everyone feel as though they are welcome. Show them that they have friends supporting them. Instead of making fun of the boy who doesn't drink or do drugs, take a moment to get to know him because what you didn't know was that his dad was addicted and died from an overdose, and he's just terrified of ending up that way.

I can't stress enough that there's so much that you simply don't know about other people. I'm tired of constantly hearing the negativity and rumors that seem to flow out of others' mouths. You don't realize the damage you do by talking about people behind their backs. It drives me crazy that people can't just treat everyone with at least a little respect and kindness. Didn't Bambi teach you, “If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all?” It's not that hard to keep nasty comments to yourself. Especially when they will impact someone else. The girl who cries herself to sleep isn't depressed; she simply feels alone. All she ever hears every day are the negative comments that people don't like her. Even when she never gave them a reason to not like her. She was only being herself. I'm not saying you have to love every person you talk to because that's unrealistic, but there's something good in every person, and all you simply have to do is find that one good thing that you both can agree on and drop everything else.

People mess up; life is full of mistakes, but there is no reason to hold a grudge against someone for something they did months ago out of spite or emotions. You may live in a bubble now, but in the real world life isn't about how much money you own, what clothes you wear, or what other people look like. There's so much more to people and life than what's on the surface, and if you make quick judgments you'll never get the chance to experience what a wonderful personality someone else has. So stop making other people feel "shitty" about themselves; it may be funny to you, but trust me, you won't be laughing long when you realize that you're the reason they cry themselves to sleep every night, you're the reason that they've developed depression, and that you're the reason they are no longer here.

Just please before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes and see what their life is like; you may be surprised at how good you have it.