If you're like me, you can be pretty down on yourself sometimes. We all expect the best for ourselves, whether it comes to school, jobs, our sports, or our relationships with others. When things tend to stray off course in any of these areas, a lot of us tend to wallow in our own self-pity. "I'm not good enough," or "wow, this is all my fault." This is extremely toxic thinking. The world is neither black nor white, there are always gray areas, so we should never think in black and white, either.
A lot of us find that loving ourselves can be pretty dang difficult. Over the course of my lifetime (and hopefully yours, too!) I have found that self-love is so very important. Here's why:
1. It gives others a basis on how to treat you.
Put it this way: You know how to treat yourself. You are kind to yourself. You respect yourself, and know both your talents and flaws. You can admit when you're wrong and can ask for an apology when necessary. These are all things that form successful relationships and friendships. When you love yourself before you dive into loving others, it forms a solid foundation on how you expect to be treated. If you wouldn't accept it from yourself...you definitely shouldn't take it from anyone else!
2. It's a sign you know who you are and you're totally content with that.
Self-love is another form of self-acceptance. You have grown to love the person you have turned out to be in this very moment. It takes a lifetime for so many of us just to feel we are enough just the way we are. It takes a lot of growth and maturity to know exactly who you are and to feel comfortable in your own skin. If you love yourself, or are learning to love yourself, you are growing up!
3. It sets up the foundation for a positive life.
"Man...life is rough!" "The world is a crazy place!" "People are not nice!" These are all things I heard when I first started college and "adulthood." These people are right. The world sucks. It does. It's full of evil, hate and corruption. This can really have an effect on how you feel about yourself, which in turn can affect how you see others. It is so easy to be a negative, hateful person. You are submitting to the ways of the world! How could it not be? When you're surrounded by this negativity, it's a lot easier to focus on the not-so-great parts of life and the same in yourself. I have found the most negative people tend to have very low self-esteem. That's no coincidence. When you have self-love, it's a lot easier to not only be kind to yourself, but to be kind to others. It means you see the best in people, even if they don't deserve it. We all deserve to be loved, which is why we should start with ourselves first.
This may seem too idealistic for some people and that's okay. If you have self-love and a "glass half full" attitude, good for you. You have not let society tell you who to be, or how to live. You have not hardened yourself to the ways of the world. You are strong. Now go spread that strength!
"Better to be the one that smiled, than the one who didn't smile back." -Mari Gayatri Stein
