Okay guys, I am writing to myself just as much as I’m writing to you. And I want to preface this by explaining how much I KNOW that this sucks. Because it does. It freaking hurts.

I don’t know where you’re at reading this. Maybe you thought you and your significant other were an even better couple than Jay-Z and Beyonce and he ended it. Maybe you thought, prayed and decided to end your relationship yourself. Maybe you just found out that the guy you like thinks of you on the same level romantically as, say, his grandmother. Regardless, you’re probably hurt. And, as if the hurt wasn’t enough, there’s also the confusion, the vague embarrassment, the frustration, OH and don’t forget the hit to the self-esteem… Goodness, I know it sucks.

I don’t know about you guys, but for me, I like to pretend I’m unaffected by these kinds of things. No, I AM for sure the “I KNOW I’m 120% immune from heartache and DEFINITELY don’t care enough to be hurt” chill kind of girl who doesn’t care whether he cares or not—have I mentioned that I don’t care? Because I definitely don’t.

Turns out, I’m actually not that girl—shocking, I know. And you know what, I think that’s okay. You don’t have to be this girl either. Let’s just get real for a second.

Guys, as a Christian, letting Jesus navigate me through relationships and heartaches is HARD. But seriously, Jesus can even use heartache. Whether that’s to help you realize a place in your heart where you need to trust Him more, the fact that frankly you two having a future wasn’t in His plan for your life, or simply to maybe relate to someone else going through a heartache, Jesus can work if you let Him.

And I know that you may be a little skeptical about this. You could be thinking…

REALLY Jesus? If you’re so good, why am I hurt?

Or

His plan sucks (C’mon, we’ve all thought this, let’s not try to be pretty here).

Or

I know He’s working, but I literally have NO clue what the crap I’m supposed to be getting from this.

If we’re being honest, the last thing I want to do if my heart is hurting is to let Jesus in. In fact, I tend to run away from Him in my stubbornness and try (& fail) to be all independent and push the emotions under the rug. AND that lasts about 3 days until I’m in bed with my mouth unattractively caked with Nutella, crying into my computer as I binge watch Grey’s Anatomy (not pretty, but hey, at least I’m honest).

Honestly, Jesus wants us to wrestle with these things. It wouldn’t be a relationship if there wasn’t wrestling or hard and messy things. Your relationship with Jesus shouldn’t be sunflowers, laughing babies, rainbows and potty-trained puppies all the time.

I think we should stop pretending that things like this don’t hurt. When I was talking to my roommate about this, she told me to remind myself of simple truths about who Jesus is and who I am and WHY we should keep fighting to live without abandon in this crazy, weird world. SO, I’ll name off two simple, concrete truths and maybe we can remind ourselves of them together.

1.Your singleness doesn’t define your worth.

Ok, I need this so much. It honestly doesn’t matter if he’s no longer there to think you’re pretty or funny or whatever he thought you were. You were created for much more than wondering whether a guy thinks you’re pretty or funny.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10

He took the time to not only envision and dream for us, but to craft our hearts and personalities for His dream. That’s amazing. Seriously.

2. Just because it doesn’t look like what you expected, doesn’t mean Jesus’s plan for you isn’t still solid, tailored and GOOD.

Okay, I struggle with this one a lot. And if one thing happens to me that I even slightly disagree with, I doubt His plan or if he even has one at all (I can be such a brat). But listen, we HAVE to remember who He is here.

First of all, when we let Him love us and choose to love him back, He freely gives us His joy.

“These things I’ve told you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” – John 15:11. Honestly just read all of John 15.

Or when Paul reminds us that Jesus is FOR us?

“For we know that ALL things work together for good for those who love the Lord.” –Romans 8:28

He doesn’t promise that hurt and heartache won’t happen, but He does promise that He’s up to something. Through the hard and the messy, Jesus is working. Instead of doubting it, look for Him in the little, unexpected ways He shows up.

Guys, our stories aren’t over. Your heart is hurt now, but there’s so much possibility for this next season of your life—and it’ll be worth all of the messy and hard things in life! Let’s remember these things together. It’s gonna be great.