I believe that we get what we allow.

For four years now, no matter where I've lived, I've had a quote that finds its way to either a mirror, whiteboard or a sheet of paper somewhere in my living space where I will see it and read it every day. The quote says: "What you focus on, you create more of in your life."

I believe we get what we allow because of the very principle this quote is built upon. Whatever it is that you attract to yourself in this world (whether it be positive or negative) you typically have the choice of allowing it in, or not.

As children, this autonomy is limited because our parents and guardians place needed limitations on us until we can function on our own. However, once we are grown, we often forget that the way things are is not how they have to be.

We get what we allow. We allow what we think we deserve based on our level of self-respect and the situations we are in.

We create our own realities. I tend to frequently question my reality in the form of crazy thoughts and random epiphanies.

Often when I'm driving I think about how silly and bizarre it is that we all stay on one side of the road because of some rubbed off paint that runs down the middle of the asphalt. I think about how weird it is that drivers everywhere follow the same general rules that humans made up so that other humans could follow them. I wonder how crazy it must look if someone were to observe traffic patterns from a bird's-eye view without any understanding of what is going on. I suppose it would be a similar feeling to when we watch birds fly in a V-shape and then twist and turn and reconfigure themselves in the most dynamic and precise choreography as they soar through the sky above us.

I use this example of the traffic patterns as physical proof that we as humans create our reality. The reality of driving is that we stick to the rules that were created for us to follow so that we can avoid harm and move from point A to point B in a convenient and (ideally) quick manner.

There are endless examples of how we create our own external realities in the forms of laws, rules and regulations. However, more pertinent to you and me on an emotional level is how we (as individuals) consciously create our realities and the dialogue within our head. This is the reality that we live with each and every day during every waking moment. This is the reality that explains to us how we get what we allow.

As an example, it took me a long time to realize that I allowed everyone I worked with or was friends with to expect me to say those three words that they loved to hear so much. I'll go ahead and tell you that those three words were not 'I love you."

Those three words were "Yes, I can!" Which was generally shortened to the three letter word "yes" that I sometimes categorize as a "four letter word" if you know what I mean.

For most of my life, I've said yes to anything and everything whether it was asked of me, assumed of me, or never even mentioned to me. I feared being a disappointment and I never wanted to let anyone down but it came as a surprise to me that out of everyone, the only person I was letting down or disappointing was myself.

I eventually realized that I created a reality in my head where saying no would be a bad thing. I thought that by saying no, I would be thought less of. This part actually proved to be true but it wasn't the people I was saying no to that thought less of me; it was only ever myself.

Essentially, I never gave anyone an indication that I wanted to say no, I just passively always said yes expecting someone to eventually tell me that I could say no. How could I expect others to read my mind when every action of mine pointed to the fact that I loved saying yes to everything?

I created a reality for myself and began getting what I was allowing: an over-programmed, tiring life that was being lived for everyone else but me.

You get what you allow because you have the power to create your own reality based on perspective and perception. A rainy day doesn't have to be a bad thing just because your co-worker hates them. You can love them and even dance in the rain on your way to work if that's your reality.

A test or a paper doesn't have to be a stressful or negative thing if you truly enjoy the subject matter and like the learning that goes along with it. Don't psyche yourself out and believe that you automatically shouldn't enjoy something if you do.

I encourage everyone to examine what they allow into their lives and as a reminder: just because things are the way they are, doesn't mean that's how they have to be.