Repeat after me: I-do-not-need-to-win-every-battle-to-win-the-war. Sing it, shout it, scream all about it. This battle may have been vanquished, but the war is still dancing in the distance. “Woah is me,” you might pronounce, as you face-plant into the safety of your bed. Dare I say you are nestled into a ball of self-pity, contemplating the 50 shades of darkness your life seems to be emulating?
We all have goals and we all have setbacks. Whether it is failing an exam, losing a friend, finding out your partner is disloyal, or botching an interview, the war of life and happiness can throw some pretty shady bombs your way. But I don’t think you are expected to successfully dodge all of them. In fact, you shouldn’t. Losing a battle points you in your next direction; it refocuses your game plan and opens up new opportunities.
Recommended for you
You may fail an exam, but you will have a few more grades to turn it around. And if not this semester, then the next. You lose a close friend, but there are over 7 billion people on this planet. You will find companionship elsewhere, and probably in someone more worthy of your time. Your partner may have cheated on you, but dating is all about weeding out the losers. Where there are losers, there are winners waiting right around the corner; keep your heart open. You blew this interview, but there are other companies out there with a culture that will match your skills and personality. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Once you realize the battles you are losing are not the whole war, your stress levels will surely absolve. These little losses are merely paint drops in the big picture. Trust that your canvas is still quite bare. In a few years, these minor defeats will be nothing more than a compass that pointed you to your next direction. Your direction will change constantly, because—yep, you guessed it— you will lose more. This is not to be mistaken with pessimism; rather, it is a constructive perspective that promises growth, learning, and victory.
I think the problem is that we all expect to win. We want instant gratification and when that is not satisfied, we assume the worst. When we reach a hiccup, it’s like our view is muddled by fear and skepticism. We question whether we will reach our goals, find real companionship, fall in love, or land our dream job. I can promise you one thing: happiness is not scared off by soiled battles. Your goals are still alive and your war is still rioting. Chase it, attack it and don’t let the loss of some small battles keep you from conquering the war.
