Sunday was National Children's Day, the trending hashtag on Facebook alerted me. I had never heard of this holiday, which is surprising because apparently its observations are older than Mother's or Father's Day.
What's more surprising, though, is that I didn't know about the holiday. I love children; children are my job. I'm a nanny and a religious education preschool teacher, and I couldn't love my job more. Yes, it's extremely hard work, but it's the most rewarding accomplishment I've achieved yet.
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Being a nanny at 22 years old leaves me in a funny position, though. Many women my age are already mothers, and for other women my age, children are the last thing on their mind.
I (to my dismay) am not a mother (yet), but I find myself relating more to the moms than most young adults.
Because, as you can imagine, my everyday routine is filled with questions many mamas ask themselves, from the silly "Why is this wet?" to the slightly more serious "What's the best brand of baby wipes?" and even more serious "How can I help discipline a child without using punishment?" or "Are these car seat straps tight enough?"
Since this has become my life, I've joined many "mommy groups" on Facebook to get help and support, and frankly, empathy. It's nice to see my news feed on Facebook filled with funny stories of children that resonate with me, rants about poop-y diapers I feel so hard, or even just sweet pictures of babies.
Being part of mama support groups make my day so much easier, but at the end of the day, part of me feels a little left out because I'm not actually a mom yet. I don't fit in with childless adults my age, but I don't quite fit in with mamas yet either.
This gets to me most when mothers sometimes disagree with an opinion I share in a group and then berate me for being childless. I am an Intactivist, an activist against routine infant circumcision, and have no trouble vocalizing my views in mommy groups, either.
My sentiments have been shutdown or negated before by other moms when they scroll through my timeline and discover I'm not actually a mom.
The comments I get usually go something like "You're not even a mom, your opinion doesn't even matter," or "Come back to me when you have your own kids."
At first, these comments sting a little. I want to be a mom so badly, and I think that's why these comments hit home.
But I finally realized the big problem with this logic: why should I have to have kids to have opinions on how they're treated?
Why should I have to be a mom to advocate for children? Why should I have to be a mom to say that hitting children is wrong? Why should I have to be a mom to think that car seat safety is important?
Frankly, I'm sick of being of told that my opinions on childcare are illegitimate because I didn't birth a child yet. I've researched parenting and childcare topics relentlessly and even had similar experiences as a nanny (hello, it's my full-time job), and there's something to be said for that.
I help raise children everyday, and yes, it's different than being a mom. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to care about children, be passionate about their well-being or share valuable information with other moms about babies and children.
I don't need to be a mom to research what psychiatrists say about spanking. I don't need to be a mom to care about what's in the sunscreen I'm lathering on my nanny-kiddos. I don't need to be a mom to inform others on the benefits of eating organic produce.
And I certainly don't need to be a mom to love children, appreciate them or celebrate them.
Happy (belated) National Children's Day, from the childless 22-year-old nanny.
