You Don't Need Him To Be Happy | The Odyssey Online
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You Don't Need Him To Be Happy

You don't like him, you like the idea of him

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You Don't Need Him To Be Happy
Brooke Viger

You don’t like him, you like the idea of him.

Trust me, I know you scroll through the popular page on Instagram and see all these perfect couples. I know you want what you think they have. And that’s why you would give your everything to the first guy that notices you.

I think way too far ahead, like most girls. I don’t know why we do it but even just a simple “hey” makes us think about if we're going to go to your house or ours for Christmas.It drives me crazy and I've realized lately I need to stop worrying so much about the future and enjoy the present.

All my life, I’ve been single because I haven’t met someone worth it all. Until I met the guy who changed my whole perspective on the world.

He treated me so well I didn’t even know I could be treated that good. I realized that it wouldn’t work out between us for different reasons, and instead of staying in the relationship just because I’ve wanted someone my whole life and I had finally found someone who treated me well, I got out of it because I realized I deserve someone who wants to commit and someone who isn’t afraid to lose me.

I made myself believe that he could be the one. I made myself believe that he felt the same way. But he didn’t. I was just another girl to him, while to me he was my future.

I don’t date in this generation just to “date”. I date to marry, and I take it seriously. I want someone who is looking for the same, and he wasn't it. He couldn’t commit to me and that’s okay. And it's okay to leave the relationship because of that. Ladies, you deserve a guy who is 110% down for you, not someone who is unsure if he even sees a future with you.

I know it's easier to stay with him because he makes you happy, and you think that all those times make up for the fact that he won’t commit to you. And it may be easier, and less heartbreaking at the time. But it won't be worth it. You can't force a relationship, and you can't force someone to have the same feelings for you.

What you can do is wait until the right guy comes.

Don’t go looking for a relationship or forcing one, let the right person come to you. You'll find him, trust me. And when you do, fall in love with him... not the idea of him. The right him. The one who is crazy about you and the one who shows you off, and most importantly the one who really gets you and isn’t afraid of loving, and most importantly, losing you.

You don’t need him to be happy.

You don’t need him to feel satisfied.

And you definitely don’t need him because everyone else has a “him”.

I never dated in high school. Not because I didn’t like anyone, but because I chose not to. When I date I am honestly looking for my someone. I knew no one in high school was going to be that someone for me. Some people found their person in high school, and that’s amazing. But for me, it hasn’t happened yet and I’m on my second year in college. And that’s fine.

I thought going to college was going to be amazing and I would find my future husband and we would live happily ever after. I was totally wrong.

Our generation isn’t worried about dating, or even about the future. Don’t get me wrong; there are a few exceptions, like myself. I look around at all these couples and think, are they really happy together, or are they just together because everyone else has someone too? I don’t to let my happiness to depend on a boy. You should learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Having someone is just the icing on top, and loving yourself is what really matters.

And I'm not only speaking for girls, guys: you don’t her to be happy. I know all of your buddies have someone and it can be embarrassing or lonely if you don’t. But don’t settle for easy, find the girl that is worth fighting for. She will be worth it. You deserve the best, and nothing less.

Most importantly, be happy with yourself, learn to love yourself and know how to be single before you get in a relationship. Don’t depend on a guy to make you happy or fill the hole you might have from past relationships, do it yourself. You don’t need him, and he doesn’t deserve you until he shows he's afraid of losing you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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