Nice people are too often mistaken to be the kinds of people that will do whatever you want them to. They will fit whatever mold you want them to fit into because they're "nice" and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. This often prompts others to take advantage of them. I know that I've personally worried so much about being seen as "nice" that I forget about how I feel, what I want, and who I am. And when I realized this, I decided that I was done worrying about being nice. I decided to stop saying yes to every single thing just for the sake of being seen as nice. These are some major points that helped me to be able to figure out what I want and helped me not worry about other people's opinions of me.
1. Don't let others prevent you from evolving.
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Have you ever changed your mind about something fairly vital to who you are as a person because you came across new information that has changed your mind? And then someone points out that you used to think differently? Don't let the fear of someone pointing out this difference keep you from learning and evolving. I'm not going to stagnate intellectually for the sake of consistency.
2. Stop letting others walk all over you.
Don't put up with other people telling you what to do if you don't want to do it and don't let them treat you like a doormat. If you stop and they use the phrase "You used to be nicer" to try and put you back in your place, remind them that they're just mad that you don't put up with any of their foolishness anymore.
3. Your parents are not an exception.
Go ahead and have that rebellious phase! Realize that you don't deserve to be treated like garbage! Don't excuse your parents for something that you would never let someone else do to you. You deserve just as much respect from them that they do from you.
4. Don't say maybe if you want to say no.
5. Be soft, kind, and loving. But don't take anyone's idiocy.
You can certainly always be nice. Unless someone gives you a reason not to be, always, always, always be nice to them. But if someone decides that they are an exception and don't treat others with kindness or respect, by all means, call them out on it.
6. Always do exactly what you want to do.
Don't worry about always being the same person. Don't worry if one day you want to one thing, and the next day do something completely different. You are allowed to be a paradox. You don't have to be the same person twice. But always do what you want to do, even if it's not what other's would want.
7. Don't beg for someone's time.
Don't try to convince someone to give you attention or choose you or spend more time with you. If they aren't putting the effort in to your relationship that you are, then they aren't worth it. You have too much to offer the world to waste time on someone not willing to spend time on you.
8. Don't worry about being an ass.
Have you ever been too nice and ended up in a situation that could've been prevented if you just would've been mean? It's totally okay to do that! Sometimes, you have to be a little bit of an ass in order to get what you want.
9. Give yourself compliments, even if it makes you seem vain.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather be vain then learn to hate myself. So give yourself compliments and give them often. Don't be afraid to know your good personality traits and know what you are worth.
10. Cut the poison out of your life.
It doesn't matter who or what that poison is, cut it out. If you find someone in your life to be nothing but toxic, cut them out. Don't spend your time on someone that makes you feel miserable.
11. There is no shame in blocking someone.
There's no shame in just deleting messages in your inbox that you don't want to answer. It's so easy to feel like you are obligated to respond to everyone who addresses you online or sends you a text, but you absolutely do not have to. It's okay to be the person who doesn't text back.
12. "If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun." -Katharine Hepburn
It's okay to break the rules sometimes. I encourage you to break the rules! Don't worry about being labeled a troublemaker or a rebel. Do it because those moments that you break the rules can be some of the most exhilarating moments of your life and breaking the rules can open gateways to unchartered areas.
13. Don't waste time proving your kindness.
Like I said, it is totally possible to be a good person and still say no and not put up with anyone's absurdity. So don't waste time proving that you are a good person. The people that matter will know who you are and that should be enough. Stop wasting time to prove to every person that enters your life that you are "nice."
