It's been a little over a week now since the world watched Donald Trump give his first speech as President-elect. A couple of days have gone by, several hours, millions of minutes, and yet I still feel like I've been punched in the gut and slapped in the face. After reflecting on my own emotions, and refraining from posting on social media, I've come to validate my feelings.
I've come to believe that the reason this election has been hard for most of us to bear is in large part due to the intensity in which we feel these results personally. They tell us politics is never as personal as it seems. They tell us that it’s only four years. They tell us that not all Trump supporters are who they’ve been made out to be. They tell us they don’t believe in his bigotry and believe he’s going to make America great again. They tell us they get it. They tell us they know how this feels, that they’re sorry, but- we need to get over it.
I’m sorry, but you sitting there on Facebook, in comfort of the election results, telling those whose lives will be undoubtedly be altered due to Donald Trump and his lovely group of loyalists, to "get over it", don't get it. And at this rate, you never will.
When you are a woman, you’ll get it.
When you're seen as a bitch for being a boss, deemed a slut when you're single, considered easy just because you're nice, you’ll get it. When you’ve been sexually harmed- verbally, physically, emotionally, you’ll get it. When you get paid an average 80% to what a man is paid for the same job (a statistic even more drastic with women of color), you’ll get it. When you are told you no longer have a right to your own body, you’ll get it. When you feel the crushing weights of cliches and double- standards: "Be pretty, but you can't be nice too, or else you’re fake. Be intelligent, but don’t raise your hand in class. Be strong, but don’t go racing against the boys" - you’ll get it. When you have to be twice as good to get half as much (s/o Shonda Rhimes), you'll get it. But you’re not a woman, or that kind of woman, are you? You don’t get it, and you never will.
When you are a person of color, you’ll get it.
When you’ve been asked, “What kind of Asian are you?”, you’ll get it. When people have gripped their eyes to make them “squinty like yours”, you’ll get it. When your academic achievements were undermined with a, “Oh, you’re Asian, that’s why”, you'll get it. When someone tells you, “Wow, you speak like a White person!” and expect you to take it as a compliment because they’re surprised you don’t have an Asian accent, you'll get it. When you’ve been told, “Asians don’t play sports”, you’ll get it. When you have felt the stares of others that scream, “You don’t belong here”, you’ll get it. When you walk into a room and see people shift around you because your skin color is darker than theirs, you will get it. But you’re not Asian, and you’re not a person of color. You don’t get it, and you never will.
When you are a descendant of immigrants, or considered part of the working class, you’ll get it.
When you watch your parents kill themselves over two to three jobs so you can continue doing the activities you love, you’ll get it. When you hear how your grandparents were spoken...to...like...this…even...though...they were fluent in English, you’ll get it. When your family members have served the United States proudly, but are still told they aren’t “American” enough, you’ll get it. You know, you probably are a descendant of “white” immigrants, and yet, you still don’t get it. You probably never will.
When you are not a Christian, you’ll get it.
When you have a religion other than Christianity, and are spat on for it, you’ll get it. When you fear for your life because you may be mistaken as a “terrorist” because of what you wear or what you look like, you’ll get it. When you are told, “that’s not the proper way to Pray” - you’ll get it. When you are looked at as being inferior in all aspects of life because of your religion, your faith, your beliefs, you’ll get it. When you are denied basic opportunities because of your religious beliefs, you’ll get it. But you’re not of a different faith. You don’t respect or accept different faiths. You don’t get it, and you never will.
When you are told, “being gay is a choice”, you’ll get it.
When you are told keeping gays from marrying is an enforcement of God’s idea, you’ll get it. When you hear your gay friend’s voice shake at the other end of the line, fearing that he could really be subject to conversion therapy, you’ll get it. When you have faced years of oppression but still proudly identify as LGBT+, you’ll get it. When you feel like you've been grabbed at back of your collar and thrown off the progressive path towards LGBT+ equality, and stomped on for believing in LGBT+ rights, you’ll get it. When you’re told you’re a threat to your community, because of who you are, you’ll get it. When you’ve contemplated suicide because you couldn’t change who you were born to be, you’ll get it. But you aren’t, and you refuse to accept it. So no, you don’t get it. And you never will.
When you stand in solidarity with those mentioned above, you get it.
You get it because, like us, your heart is heavy and breaking, as love was not enough. You get it because you, too, feel a lump rise in your throat, because respect was not enough. You get it because, you have watched your fellow Americans choose themselves over others. If this is you, thank you, I will never overlook you. But please, don't stop here. Fight to make others understand.
I encourage you to say to them, when the most powerful seat in the nation goes to a man who threatens your very existence, you’ll get it. Say to them, when you, yourself, are valued lower than a socio-economic status, you'll get it. Say to them, when you are able to say “my family and I will be okay even if Trump is elected”, check your privilege, and then maybe you'll get it.
When your bones don't shake at the sight of injustice, when sadness doesn't seep into your soul out of fear of others, when an individual's own future is not the one at stake, we end up here. We end up witnessing a man whom has done so much harm to others stand before us as the president-elect of the United States.
Here we are, do you get it now? Will you get it in four years? Will you get it...ever?
I understand differing political opinions, but valuing your political stance over your moral compass?
I understand the power behind wanting things to change, but change at the cost of our humanity?
I understand it’s not entirely your fault, but ignoring or running from, instead of standing with those in a less fortunate position than you?
I understand your own frustrations, and I hear you.
Please understand that I am trying to move forward, to “get over it”.
But do you, if I may ask, understand? Do you hear us? As you move forward, will you be able to “get over” what will be done these next four years? What already has been done in the past seven days?
Telling us our emotions are invalid, our anger misplaced, our fear irrational, is your way of silencing our fears rather than acknowledging them. It is your way of confirming that because you could never feel it, you don't have to get it. You can toss it aside because you. don't. feel it. So please, don't tell me you get it and follow it up with, "get over it". Because you don't, and it's a dark day when it's evident you never will.
