"It's just a bad day."
"You are young, this is a phase."
"But you're so rich, successful, happy..."
"You're just looking for attention."
Nobody with mental illness wants to hear things like this. Anyone living with any sort of mental disorder is already going through enough, they do not need someone telling them what they should or shouldn't be feeling on top of everything else.
The best thing I have experienced is people who do not know anything about me or what my brain is doing up there trying to give me their unsolicited opinion on how I feel.
Thank you, yes, I needed that. Your uninvited advice is definitely the cure. If only you had explained to me what I already knew sooner! Maybe I could have went without the years of lack of melatonin production in my brain, incredible amounts of instability and years dripping in sadness that I did not know existed.
As helpful as you may think your advice may be, it really is not. It happens to be quite toxic and harmful to the individuals on the receiving end.
"Oh, well, my brain works okay so..."
"But, I know more because I have experienced more..."
"I know someone who tried this and they are doing great now..."
"Once this is over, everything will be okay..."
Well see, this is not how that works. Your attitude of trying to give suggestions or help is truly condescending. It becomes an "I know better than you do" attitude that isn't helpful.
If you do not understand what somebody else is going through and they do not flat out ask you for your opinion or advice on the situation, maybe don't give it out. The fact is, nobody can or will ever know exactly what someone else is going through.
Nobody going through any kind of mental health issues would ever want anyone to understand first hand. It is hard enough to live a life where you are constantly in a battle with your own brain. The difficulties that come with that and then having people give you their expert uncalled for advice on top of that becomes too much.
If someone you know comes to you with their struggles, maybe just be there for them. That is what they need. Not opinions, not a diagnosis, not to be made out to feel like less than someone else. Just listen and be there. It ends up benefitting everyone more in the end.
