I went and visited your grave today. It is the second time I have been by since you passed away. It doesn’t get any better when I go. Seeing your name etched in that black stone.
For so long, I wanted to pretend that it didn't happen, that it wasn't real. I kept looking down at my phone and expecting a text from you. I kept wanting to ask your mom if I could come see you at the hospital. But then I remembered. You aren't there, you aren't anywhere on this earth anymore. Oh how I wish to see your smiling face again, hold your hand, and sit by you and just talk for a little bit. We would laugh and cry. Then I realize whatever time that we would have would not ever be enough. I would never want to say goodbye.
You weren't the kind of person that anyone wanted to say goodbye too, but so many had to. You were the most beautiful flower on the prettiest of spring days. Your presence brought smiles to faces and joy to hearts. You lived a life that glowed in the darkest of places. Cancer could never take away your will to live and your strength to fight. You were the strongest person I ever knew and every day that I continue here on this earth I become more convinced that you will be the strongest person that I ever meet. I find myself asking why? God, don’t you know she could have changed the world?
Then I realize she did change the world. I will never be the same, I am a better person because I got to know you. My life has changed and so have the lives of so many others, people who heard your testimony, people who saw your smile, people who heard your laugh were all changed for the better. The community was changed for the better. The world was changed for the better because of you. You were the prettiest so you were picked to go to heaven first. The rest of us are left here to try to carry on your legacy. To try to smile a little bit wider, laugh a little bit harder, love a little bit stronger, be a little bit nicer, and take every chance in this precious life that we have to impact people like you did. And maybe just maybe we can change the world just like you did.
