One of my favorite things about Ellen DeGeneres is that she ends every show by saying, “Be kind to one another.” Kindness, at times, seems to be a forgotten art. We allow our ability to practice kindness to get clouded by negative people, our bad moods, or an overall unlucky day. However, have you ever stopped to think about the levels that that cloudiness has on your overall health? According to science, kindness is not only linked directly to our propensity for happiness, but it also has another major benefit: it increases our longevity.
According to a study conducted by Dr. Mercola that was published on Mercola.com, our ability to practice kindness is making us live longer and the opposite is also true. Those who do not practice kindness upon others “are just as unhappy as they are unkind” and they are also not living as long.
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There is a nerve in our brains called the vagus nerve, which is the “the longest carnial nerve in your brain.” That nerve possibly connects the positive emotions that arise from positive interactions with others and you probably didn’t even know that you had it. The vagal response is increased as our positive emotions increase and, thus, it helps to measure our physical health. The vagus nerve in our brains is directly affected by our heart rate variability. It regulates how efficiently our heart rate changes when we are breathing. It is believed that a higher the vagal tone results in higher heart rate variability and a lower risk for “major killers” such as cardiovascular disease. In other words, there is a nerve in our brains that is most responsive to our positive emotions and if it detects more positive emotions, it results in better physical health for us.
So, we know that our practice of kindness, or lack thereof, is affecting our health, but what can we do about it? Mercola referenced a clinical study out of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, that explored the specific aspects of social relationships that are most significantly related to our longevity. It found that when we allow ourselves to focus on positive thinking in relation to others, by wishing them happiness and safety, even when we are in stressful situations, it will result in an “upward spiral dynamic.” In other words, practicing kindness actually makes us happier. Psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson explained this by saying, “It’s kind of softening your own heart to be more open to others.”
Softening your heart to someone who seems to have a heart made of stone can look kind of impossible at times. I know what it’s like out there. We are constantly faced with situations when our need to be a good person is tested. We regularly deal with coworkers who are belittling us, peers who are mistreating us, and the plain, seemingly miserable people who seem to only wish to watch us fail. Remember that super bowl commercial from a few years ago, where the slow computer of one office employee caused a ripple effect of stressed-out coworkers? This can easily happen when we allow our negative emotions to overtake our ability to be kind. So, to those who are not treating us with compassion, we need to change our perception and practice compassion anyway because perception is the key.
The vagus nerve that was mentioned earlier is what helps us pay close attention to human speech, make eye contact, and regulate the emotional expressions of others. However, it’s relation to our ability to relate to others with kindness doesn’t end there. The nerve releases oxytocin, a hormone that is necessary for social bonding to occur. The higher the vagal tone, the more that we experience greater feelings of closeness to others and are more willing to perform acts that will benefit them at the expense of ourselves. All of these responses are all made possible by simply the perception of the participant because this positive effect is directly related to feelings of social connectedness.
Being a kind person doesn't cost us anything. If we all took the time to step back and see each other as human beings with emotions, we can all find it in our hearts to relate to them on that level and practice kindness. Being kind does not equate to being weak and do not ever mistake it for such. It’s actually the opposite. Being kind is having the strength to give more to the world than the world may even be giving to you. Don't allow yourself to fall victim to feeling like you are a victim. In any situation that you find yourself in where one person is only putting in 30 percent kindness, put in 100 percent anyway because a world where we only mimicked the same level of kindness that is imposed upon us would be pretty ugly. Be kind to one another.
