I know you.
You're the girl that doesn't think she is enough.
I mean, how could you? You spent years in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic guy that washed away any ounce of self confidence and self worth you had. A guy that constantly reminded you of everything you were lacking. Especially physically. A guy that did damage, then left you for a girl that "was better than you". It was that moment that you started believing the words that he worked so hard to make you believe.
He left because you weren't skinny. He left because you get your feelings hurt too easily. He left because you complain too much about not spending enough time with him. He left because you complained when he didn't talk to you. He left because you were the reason for all the problems and all the arguments. He left because you weren't enough
I know you.
You've believed these words for so long, that you push away anyone that tells you otherwise. You ruin any potential relationship that comes your way. You don't trust anyone. You don't believe them when they tell you that you are beautiful. You run when things get tough. They can't hurt you if you don't stick around long enough for them to do it. They won't chase after you anyways. Right?
You aren't enough.
I know you.
When someone finally comes along and is good to you, you question it. It can't be real. You wait for something to go wrong. You make sure that your walls stay up. You wait for him to tell you his real feelings towards you. You wait for him to see the real you and run for the hills. You wait for him to leave you for someone "better". You wait to push him away and he never fight for you. You wait for him to make you feel guilty for anything you do wrong in the relationship. You wait for the warning signs from him of a narcissist that you've trained yourself to look for. You wait for him to ghost you. When any of those things happen, you tell yourself “see. You were right. You're never good enough". You know that a real relationship will never be something you have. Because you aren't enough.
I know you.
Because I was you. And you are WRONG. You just haven’t found the right person yet. You will be more than enough for the right person. You deserve someone that makes you look in the mirror to see the strong and beautiful person you are. Inside and out. You deserve someone that knows everything about you and chooses to stay. You deserve someone that is patient and waits for your walls to come down. You deserve someone that will make you a priority. You deserve someone that will NEVER make you question your worth. You deserve the type of love you have prayed and prayed for. A guy that doesn’t choose to use you while he’s trying to figure his life out. A guy that doesn’t question what he wants with you. If any guy does any of the negative things, HES NOT YOUR GUY. And that's okay. That doesn't define your worth. That just means that they weren’t your person. Stop letting what some douchebag said about you then, define your self worth and happiness now.
God is waiting for the perfect timing to send you the person he created just for you. A person that will love you for you. A person that will never hurt you like you've been hurt. A person that will stay when you try to push them away. A person that will not punish you for having anxiety about the “what if’s” that your brain makes you believe. It will be a love that you never thought would happen.
And when he does show up in your life, let him love you.
Because you are enough.
