Somehow, we become fixed on the idea that we should always be happy, that any slip of anger or hurt is a sign of weakness. Heaven forbid you show an ounce of vulnerability, it’s simply not allowed. It’s not okay to be weak or upset; you’re supposed to keep your head up and seamlessly continue through the foibles of life.
REMINDER: Happiness is not a perpetual state of mind. Albeit we should strive to move forward and grow despite life not working out in our favor, it is just as important to let yourself feel that rejection. We are constantly being told to “stay strong” or worse, “man up” and “get over it.” Instead of just acknowledging that pain, why are we constantly being told to repress it? Why is having emotion something to be ashamed of?
Granted, there very much so is a time and place to vent in a healthy manner. With embracing emotion also comes the responsibility of expending our energy wisely. For example, publicly punching someone at your uncle's wedding... not worth it. Calling your mom a cold-hearted woman in front of all her friends because she refuses to let you get a butterfly tattoo... absolutely not! Pick and choose who and what you give your energies to. The temporary embarrassment may not be worth it; take it out by heading to the gym or privately confiding in a friend instead.
Moving forward, we sometimes become so fixated on warranting our emotions; we think that every thought must have a “why” behind it. Not every gloomy sentiment requires justification. Half the time, we are already aware that something is beyond our control or not worth dwelling over, but that doesn’t suddenly banish the emotion- IT’S STILL THERE. Furthermore, not everyone will understand the full weight a situation may be holding over you, you are not obligated to explain yourself to anyone. It’s easy to argue that you “shouldn’t” be feeling a certain way; the real power lies in simply embracing the emotion and acknowledging its presence.
If you’re feeling emotionally destroyed or temporarily cynical, that’s OK. Don’t feel the need to beat yourself up over why you’re feeling this way or if you even have the right to be. It’s possible that the situation may be superfluous relative to the grand scheme of things but you must allow yourself to be upset! I can’t count the number of times I’ve broken down and cried this semester; but in almost all these instances, my outbreak lasted about twenty minutes before I moved on and never revisited that situation. The moment of feeling defeated didn’t render me as weak; in the moment, I felt my reaction was appropriate, why further explain it?
**Side note: People will be confused at your emotions even if they’re positive. I cannot fathom the amount of times people have questioned my happiness. HAPPINESS! As if feeling positive requires sound rationale, too. If you’re feeling good, BE HAPPY. Sad? BE SAD. It’s your emotion. Own it.**
The point is, no one else will understand the intricacy of your thought process, you yourself may not always comprehend why you’re distressed. From time to time, emotions can be erratic and unwarranted, but in those fugacious moments, it made sense. Embrace them, anyway.
