I am somebody that has been effected by mental illness for my entire life. Several people in my family have struggled with various diseases, along with close friends, and even myself. I have been in therapy since I was at least ten years old, being treated for severe depression and anxiety issues. I have no shame saying this. But while society as a whole seems to be turning a more progressive leaf and lessening the stigma around mental illness, I can't help but continue to notice a pattern that is going on within our culture: romanticizing mental illness. This is something that seems to be more popular with the younger crowds, and its being reflected in television shows that are being marketed to young people. Here are just a few examples.

Effy Stonem

I cannot tell you how many of my friends wanted to be exactly like her when they watched Skins UK. Now, if you aren't familiar with the show, I'll give you a quick run-down. Effy Stonem is a girl that suffers from psychotic depression. She quickly seduces a group of boys: Freddie, Cook, and JJ. JJ drops out of the race for her affections pretty early in the season, but Freddie and Cook continue to fight for her throughout the rest of the show. She falls in love with Freddie, and Freddie loves her back, blah blah blah. But after Freddie and Effy became a committed couple, there needed to be a new reason for drama in the relationship. So, they took Effy's mental illness and amplified it to the point that Effy was having psychotic episodes, disconnecting from reality, and even tried to kill herself at one point ... which of course, only makes her boyfriend Freddie love her more as he saves her from her suicide attempt! Freddie became obsessed with making Effy well again and the show got really complicated and twisted after that. I'm not going to spoil any more than I already have, but in the end Freddie is still in love with Effy and Effy's mental health gets more stable and she goes on to have some kind of banking job or something.

While I'm not saying that a person with mental illness is undeserving of love or relationships, I am saying that this is not an accurate representation of what to expect if you or somebody you love has a mental illness. It is also a very poor demonstration of how things like this need to be handled to preserve the well-being of the afflicted person. What was shown instead was more of a fixation on 'fixing' Effy on Freddie's part, rather than loving her and wanting her to be well for her own benefit. Effy's behavior was clearly escalating throughout the season and nobody ever mentioned getting her psychiatric help until after her suicide attempt. What kind of message is that sending to teenagers that watch this show? It's okay if they're miserable, or numb, or that they can't function in daily life because maybe one day they'll find a 'perfect boyfriend' like Freddie that will love them enough that they'll get better? That guys like when you're mentally unstable to the point of depending on them to bathe? I'm not exactly sure how Effy is "goals" when her mental illness is so out of control that she can't live her life or keep a healthy relationship. But onto our next example.

Tate & Violet

More of you have probably seen this show and already know where I'm going with this. Tate is literally a violent psychopath, and Violet is a depressed teenage girl. Somehow these two take solace in one another's pains and fall in love. There are really so many sick and twisted things that happen within this couple, but I'm going to try to narrow this down and avoid spoilers. Basically, Tate does a lot of shitty things to Violet and to her family, but continues to say that he loves her and would do anything for her. This perpetuates a very warped perception of what love is, and what somebody is supposed to act like when they're in love with somebody else. Not only that, but their relationship sets unrealistic expectations pertaining to what a significant other should do for you if you have a mental illness. There is another scene during which Violet is cutting herself and Tate comes in, kissing her bloody wrists and making her promise not to hurt herself anymore. I'm sorry to tell you, but that doesn't happen in real life. In real life, it's very seldom that somebody comes to save the day in the nick of time. And in all honesty, as sad as it is to say, it's seldom that lovers even stick around after they catch a whiff of mental illness. But even with that being true in the real world, that doesn't make for a very romantic story.

So, we again see the boyfriend saving the girlfriend from her suicide attempt, which only serves to discredit the severity of that kind of situation. If you find somebody that has tried to kill themselves, you do not put them in the bath tub and cry and hug them back to life. You call 9-1-1 and you try your best to make sure that they survive.

I am tired of the romanticizing of a situations that have nothing romantic about them. There is nothing romantic about cutting yourself. There is nothing alluring about being too depressed to get out of bed. There is nothing beautiful about not seeking help for mental illnesses and letting them get out of control. There is no love in allowing somebody that you care for to spiral out of control, or treating them like a broken toy that needs to be fixed.

I am tired of the media and these teen dramas and these moody bloggers on Tumblr spreading the idea that mental illness is a beautiful thing and that sadness is profound. It isn't true. Mental illness is hell, and sadness is just ... sadness. There is nothing deep or intellectual about being sad for no reason. And contrary to what your favorite 'depression blogger' might tell you, dangerous behavior and drug usage to cope with depression and anxiety is not edgy or cool. It's a very harsh reality for some people, and they would probably give anything to be able to stop the path that they're on or find another way to deal with or make their pain go away.

When it boils right down to it, I'm tired of the struggles of millions of people all over the world that suffer from mental illnesses being glamorized into something that they aren't. It's hurtful to see something that has caused so much pain in my personal life portrayed as a trait to be sought after. It's infuriating to hear friends say that they want to be like Effy, or want a relationship like Tate and Violet's when it's all so unfathomably unreal and inaccurate. It belittles the plight of people whose entire lives have been affected or maybe even destroyed by mental illness. Not only that, but it also encourages negative behavior and coping mechanisms for those that actually do struggle with their own diseases.

To anyone reading this, I'm begging you not to fall prey to this inaccurate portrayal of mental illness. Please do not turn the other cheek when somebody tells you that they are Bi Polar, or depressed, or suicidal, or not eating, or any number of equally serious things just because you've been desensitized to those words due to false representation online or on TV. And if you yourself suffer with something, I'm here with you, as are countless others. You're not alone, and the trials that you are enduring are not being underestimated. There is hope and you will get better one day. Just make sure that you get real help instead of following the horrible examples that are being set for you by pop culture. If you're already doing that, then just keep going and try not to get bogged down by other people's ignorance. Some people will just never understand what it's like to live with a mental illness ... and actually, I'm really glad for that.