Over a year ago, I wrote an article titled "No, I Don't Have to Tell You I'm Trans Before Dating You." At the time, it received a fair amount of hostility, prompting me to respond to it. However, in recent weeks, the article unexpectedly resurfaced. And when it did, in came the hundreds of comments calling me some (very uncreative) slurs, claiming that my article was the sole reason trans women got killed, threats of physical violence, etc.
Most of the comments revolved around their disgust of the idea of possibly being with a trans person and many claimed they were just "not attracted to trans people."
Here's the problem with that: everyone is attracted to trans people whether or not they like it.
Trans people are an incredibly physically diverse group of people and despite what most cis people think, there is no "trans look." There simply are no physical traits that all trans people share. So claiming that one just "isn't attracted to trans people" is completely absurd. In fact, I would argue that many cis people have interacted with trans people and didn't even realize.
None of this means that all cis people are attracted to every single trans person in existence or that they have to be attracted to specific genitals. It's, of course, normal to have preferences based on physical characteristics, but as there are no specific "trans traits" claiming to not be attracted to all trans people is absurd.
The real reason cis people don't want to date trans people is simply because of their internalized disgust of transness itself.
A friend of mine, who is also trans, had an experience that illustrates this concept perfectly. She went on a few dates with a cis man who was very open about his attraction to her. They went on a few dates, which all went really well.
That was until she told him she was trans and he claimed he just "wasn't into that." The interesting thing here was that he obviously was attracted to trans people, as he continued to date her when he thought she was cis. It was merely his preconceived notions about trans people that made him reluctant.
So the real reason cis people claim to not be attracted to trans people is not because of physical characteristics (as again trans people are incredibly physically diverse) but instead because of their internal biases against trans people. The very essence of the claim is transphobic.
For all those who still claim that they aren't attracted to trans people (and are potentially preparing to write a particularly rude comment below), I will just say this...
If you weren't attracted to trans people, you wouldn't be so terrified of accidentally dating one.
