You almost killed me, Blackbird.
Almost.
You took my joy.
You took my soul.
You took my reason for living.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
I bet you didn't even know that.
Let's be honest,
You probably didn't even care.
But you took what little bit of anything that I had left in me.
It's probably still stained on your T-shirt.
I hope it is.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
You have no idea how many times I've wished I could just die in the past few months.
It was worse at the holidays.
I wanted so badly to be able to pick up the phone and call you.
I wanted to hear your voice on the other end and I wanted not to fall apart.
But let's be honest,
I would have.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
And it's silly that I let you get to me that bad.
Trust me when I say I wish I could kick my own ass for that.
I should have never given you the time of day to begin with.
But I did.
Then I let you hurt me.
Then I let you creep into my dreams.
Then my daily life.
Then my whole being.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
And I have driven myself crazy over you.
Almost insane.
I have been so worried about myself the past few months.
I haven't even recognized the girl in the mirror.
You know why, Blackbird?
That's because I don't get why I let you get to me so bad.
That's not the person I thought I was.
I don't get it.
I still don't get it.
I will never get it.
I guess you just got to me and I didn't know how to make it stop.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
I would look over my shoulder every time I went out the door to make sure you weren't there.
I was afraid I would run into you one day and then what would I say?
I was afraid if I did run into you I would cry.
I would have cried to.
If I could have even breathed when I saw you, that is.
I have been barely breathing for months.
Just barely.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
And while I was just another girl to you
You were not just another guy to me.
But that doesn't matter now.
You're gone.
Maybe for good.
That's probably for the best.
I kind of hope I never have to see you again.
But I kind of hope I do.
Because even though you almost killed me, Blackbird,
Even though you will never know how many tears I cried over you, Blackbird,
And even though you will never care in a million years,
Just know that I thought you were pretty great.
Thought.
Now I realize what you are in the daylight
And I'm wondering how the dark can play such good tricks on the eyes like that.
You're nothing more than a boy.
A boy that never deserved me or my time.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
Almost.......
Guess I'm way stronger than I thought.
Who knew?
I certainly didn't.
You almost killed me, Blackbird.
Almost......
