When it comes to being a black girl in today's society, we are known to have daddy issues because quite frankly, they are not there. My parents divorced and my dad left. With him leaving, he made me a part of that group. I struggled writing this article because it is so personal and I never share something this personal or private about my life.
When parents separate or get a divorce, the children usually feel that it is their fault. For my brother, that was the case. For me, I felt forgotten and unwanted. The parent that most commonly leaves is the dad. He says that he will come and get you on the weekends, he will call you every night, and most importantly nothing will change. At first, he follows through everything he said he would do, but then he gets remarried. Visits become few and far, birthdays were forgotten, and it was as if phones did not exist. As you get older, you learn to forgive, but never forget. When its your turn to have kids, you have to try to not make the same mistakes as your parents.
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First and foremost, I am not bashing my dad or my mom. I am simply stating my evolution of the situation. It has taken me a long time to forgive and I am constantly struggling with the word forgiveness. As an educated adult, I completely understand that people tend to grow apart and part ways. That is whats best for them and everyone around them. But as a child, I didn't understand. Now that I am an adult, I realize that I cannot harbor these feelings of disappointment and neglect. The longer I keep them with me, the more danger I will put myself in when it comes to my future relationships and making mistakes.
It is okay to make mistakes and to learn from them, but don't make the mistakes as someone else did. Learn to forgive and keep it moving. As they say, "YOLO". You only live once, will you be satisfied when your time is up?
