While descending a stairway, I had overheard a man say to his friend "I was going to walk down the hallway, but I saw an Indian woman there so yea, you know, I didn't wanna do that." His words echoed in my mind for a few seconds before we passed by each other. Realizing I had heard him, he turned to his friend and said "and now this girl probably thinks I'm racist," which, by the way, I did. I don't know why I didn't say something more offensive in response to him; something that would let him know that what he did was not only rude, but unacceptable and ignorant. Instead, I ended up saying "hey, no judgment here," as his friend laughed in a you-got-caught tone.
Can you blame me, though? As an Asian person, when I hear you say racist things and see you do racist things, is it so ridiculous for me to come to the conclusion that you are racist? Just the mere fact that I practically spoke words of consolation baffles me. Why did I feel the need to tell this man that it's okay to speak that way about people, to avoid them as he had, just because of their race? To tell him that I am actively turning the other cheek? To affirm his belief that he is free to speak and act as he pleases, however ignorant?
Does he have the right to speak and act as he did? In this country, and with his complexion, naturally. However, it is that kind of subtle racism that perpetuates the bigger problem. Not many people realize the racially insensitive things they say-- I myself am guilty of such mistakes. Fixing this problem will take more than just censoring one's every word: it's going to require one to open their mind up to practically every possible thought.
I am still bothered by his reaction to realizing he'd been caught. I fail to understand why he'd say something to guilt me for looking wrongly on him for saying something racist. Not only was he living in denial of his racist tendencies, but went on to victimize himself for being perceived as such. That kind of insensitivity could easily be resolved with a little thing I like to call compassion. The concept itself is simple. Hell, a majority of us were taught this lesson in grade school: treat others the way you would like to be treated.
Whether it be something you say or something you do, taking just a moment to consider the motivations behind it can stop a potentially offensive train of thought or hurtful course of action. What's driving you-- fear? Ignorance? Hatred?
Racism is more than spewing racial slurs heard in a song or on television, ignorant of the historical weight they hold. It's more than avoiding a person solely based on their complexion. It's more than discriminating others for their different cultures. It isn't always visible.
Racism provokes more than just a feeling of rejection, of feeling left out. It hurts those affected in a way that is not only belittling, but frustrating. All it takes is the conscious decision to open your mind to other cultures and appearances to positively change how you interact with others.
