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Health and Wellness

Yes Parents, It Is You

Children are not temporary projects or hobbies; they are a lifetime commitment.

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Yes Parents, It Is You
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I love children...sometimes; and also depending on the type of child, present situation and their parents' ideas of discipline. The first part of that sentence might stay the only part of the sentence if parents step up their game in the next few years.

The first job I ever had was a summer camp counselor. I spent 8-10 hours a day in the summer, 5 days a week for 6 years with 18-30 children per group with an age range of 4-12...that's a lot. I know some of you early education majors reading this are laughing at my "struggles" considering you signed up for that life, so laugh away. I do not envy you. I went into that job loving children and I left 6 years later wishing women gave birth to puppies instead.

Albeit some of the children were wonderful and made my day, others I severely questioned if they were human or not on a regular basis. The kids who never listened, were constantly starting fights, biting others, stealing, talking back, you know, the classics. I honestly never enjoyed putting children in time-out, no matter how relieved I looked after I did, but it was necessary to teach them a lesson.

When you're in charge of children and disciplining them for days at a time, you get to know them and their families. I began noticing that the ones I disciplined the most, responded to me the best. It made me feel good thinking that I was finally getting through to them and making a difference...until their parents picked them up and it was back to their old ways the next day. Parents...it is YOU.

I can't tell you the amount of blank stares I got from parents when I was giving them an explanation of why their child was in time out three times in one day. I can't tell you how many times a parent laughed when they found out their kid bit someone else or got violent. I wish I couldn't tell you that I had to tell multiple parents their child was teaching curse words to their friends because of what they heard at home. All of this was just me and all of this was just one group of kids...there are thousands more and that is terrifying.

If parents don't teach their children from a young age what is right and what is wrong, what is polite and impolite, and, for all the biters out there, what is edible and what is another human being then we are all in trouble. Children NEED discipline. I don't mean harsh discipline and I don't even mean the classic time-outs; they just need your time. They need parents who are going to pay attention to them and teach them as they grow up so they don't feel like they have to lash out. They need attention when they are acting up because they are doing it for a reason and it needs to be addressed. They need YOU.

Please stop being parents that make excuses for their children when they are acting up. Don't reward your child for acting like a brat in public. Don't give him or her a piece of candy after they just screamed their head off for 20 minutes. Don't expect their teachers, friend's parents, and or camp counselors to discipline your child because you "don't have time to do it at home" (yes, that is an actual quote I received from a mother). Your child is your responsibility and they are counting on you first and foremost to show them the way.

I realize that some situations are different and it is not parents' fault 100% of the time. It is just so disheartening to see so many disrespectful children and young adults in today's world. Certain things shape and influence us as we grow up but if the foundation is strong, supportive, and unyielding, we will reflect that in our demeanor as we age into (hopefully) respectful adults.

For all of you hopeful parents out there, don't have children if you don't have time to raise, play, discipline, support and encourage them for your entire lives. Children are not temporary projects or hobbies; they are a lifetime commitment, one that is not always going to be easy or fun, and one that may make you question why you wanted to reproduce in the first place, but you chose to have them. If you made the choice to bring a human being into this world, make sure they act like a decent one...or use a condom.

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