Living in North Carolina most of my life, I have heard the repeated "yes ma'am" or "yes sir" within the customer service industry. Too, I have heard it among my friends, family, and professors. To many living in the South, "sir" and "ma'am" are a form of mannerism and etiquette and many of us are taught to use these two binary phrases. However, until I started to find my gender identity, I used "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" less frequently.

Way too often am I approached by a customer from behind stating "excuse me sir", that is until I turn around and I get the big eyes, mouth perched, and an "oh I'm so sorry ma'am." From a binary perspective, I am seen more masculine because of my short haircut, athletic attire, and muscular demeanor, but I am feminine in my facial features, ear and facial piercings, and my chest. Born biologically a female, I was blessed with the chest that I never wanted, a voice that I have never heard as it does in my head, and a face with little to no facial hair.

I am Ian. I choose to identify as a nonbinary, transgender, queer individual. However, at the end of the day, I am a human being that does not see themselves as a man or a woman, rather just as an individual. Thus, living in the South, I do not see the terms "sir" and "ma'am" as a form of respect when they are assigned to you. However, I do agree that "sir" and "ma'am" are a form of respect, but only if you know that individual and how they identify. Thus, most if not all the individuals that I encounter at my job do not know that I am taking hormones, should they need to know to correctly identify as "sir" or "ma'am" or in this case neither? No, because these terms should not be assumed by the public eye. So, how do I respond when I am called a sir from behind, but corrected to a "ma'am" face on? Here is how: