hree, two, one! There’s confetti in the air, drinks clinking and splashing on the floor, friends and family wrapping their arms around each other, maybe fireworks, and—Walahh! —it’s 2018! The louder, the crazier, the happier the New Year’s celebration is, the better the year.

Which hypes up the entire idea of New Year’s Eve, thus setting the bar high for the upcoming year in general.

With 2018 around the corner, I reflect on my year. I think about my ups and my downs, the tests I aced, the places I travelled, the friends I made, the people I upset, and the times I cried. I contemplate my family, my friends, my peers, and those I’ve inspired. And with these thoughts, I put my pen to the paper and write down what I hope to accomplish in 2018.

New Year’s resolutions and celebration began with the Babylonians around 4,000 years ago. Unlike our current New Year’s celebrations, however, the Babylonians held theirs in mid-March when the crops were planted. During a massive 12-day religious festival known as Akitu, the Babylonians crowned their new king, and made promises to their gods with the thought that they would reward them if they kept those promises. Similarly, the Romans made promises to their own gods of good conduct for the coming year. Additionally, early Christians spent the first day of the new year reflecting on their past mistakes and resolving to be better in the future. Even Jews have a holiday at the beginning of the Jewish new year called Yom Kippur during which they spend fasting and repenting for their sins.

Despite the history and pattern of New Year’s Resolutions, I consistently find myself halting on the notion. I sift through Lifehack’s top 50 resolutions, Pinterest’s ultimate list of New Year’s resolution ideas, and the New York Times’ “How to Make (and Keep) a New Year’s Resolution”. I think about changes I want to make and aspects of my life I hope to maintain. The abundance of topics overwhelms me, and I eventually settle on a goal that encompasses all: Don’t be so hard on myself.

When I say “don’t be so hard on myself”, I’m not just talking about setting impossible and too many goals and growing upset when I fail to achieve them. I’m talking about comparing myself to other people, the scrolling through social media and getting FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and beating myself up over everything and anything.

Don’t be so hard on myself. It’s all too easy to notice failure and imperfection during stressful experiences. It’s too easy to come home from studying until 2 AM and cry that I’m going to fail my exam the next day, too easy to worry that the amazing guy I went on a date with thinks I’m weird, too easy to give up on plans and watch Netflix instead, too easy to let the unexpected obstacles ruin my once straight direction.

Don’t be so hard on myself. It means not giving into a warped sense of reality. Not spending time mulling over imperfections—both physical and mental. It means enjoying my responsibilities without adding on too many of them. It means loving myself, my life, and not looking back. The past is the past; there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t be angry about mistakes I made. I can only move forward.

Christopher Robin once said to Winnie the Pooh, “Promise me you’ll always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” (Sorry, I’m a Disney fan.) Just like Christopher Robin advises us, learn to spread love to the reflection in the mirror. As the fireworks burst and the ball drops, wherever you are, vow to love yourself, to value your efforts and your being.

Let 2018 be an easy, chillaxed year. Don’t be so hard on yourself.