In your time living at college, you will have multiple staff members that oversee the dorm, enforce rules and try to make relationships with you. They are your Resident Assistants, the RAs. You might have RAs that are attentive and kind, that know about your life and truly care about you. You might have RAs that just really wanted the scholarship that comes with the job that neither know you nor desire to hear about your life. I have had both types in my college career.

From the moment I stepped on my college campus as a freshman, I wanted to be an RA. I’ve been a big sister my whole life, and I knew that job would entail being a full-time big sister. I worked on the Student Life staff for two years, and then got hired to work as an RA in a freshman dorm. I would spend my senior year living in a traditional dorm, showering in flip flops.

But I was SO excited — and SO overwhelmed when I was presented with all of the information I would need to know, and scenarios for which I would need to be prepared. I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I wasn’t sure if I would be tough enough. But as the year draws to a close, I can sum up my experience as an RA in a short sentence: Being an RA changed my life.

This job entails much more than being a big sister ever did. Suddenly, I was responsible for 50ish 18-year-olds, who, despite being “legal adults,” did not know how to wash their clothes or what to do when a class got cancelled. These girls became our babies, and the other two RAs (and RD) and I got to spend a year walking these babies through their freshman year.

The first myth I debunked as an RA was similar to the one teachers always assure — as professors don’t enjoy failing students, RAs do not enjoy catching residents getting themselves into trouble. We do not like when we have to search a room, or find you sneaking out, or even have to tell you to be quiet. However, as rule-enforcers, this part of our job is one that is necessary. It makes it a lot easier for us if you just follow the rules, but sometimes you pushed us to become secret-agent-spies who sneakily watch the doors past curfew. We want to keep you safe. We have to keep you accountable. And also, it’s the rules.

Along with that, I learned that a screw-up does not make your RA hate you — in fact, quite the opposite. We are your biggest allies, and always your advocates. We want you to succeed and we don’t want to watch you stumble. But, you’re human, and you do stumble. So do we. But when you do, yes, we may have to charge you a fine or something, but we don’t stop loving you. It breaks our hearts to see you fall, and it fuels us to encourage you to do better next time.

It might sound cliché, but this year I learned more about God than I ever expected. An RA is in a weird parent-like position. You try to teach the babies the right thing, but they are the ones that go out into the world and make decisions that sometimes hurt them. But I never loved you any less, and I can only imagine how a real parent feels about this with their real child, or even more, how God feels about us when we make a mistake.

This job taught me about self-sacrifice. I might not have wanted to be available 24/7, but when you needed me, I became available. The phase of life you are in is a tough one, and if I can ever offer you a couch to cry on or a Scripture to read, I want to do that. I hope your RAs will always do that for you. Sometimes I had to do things I didn’t want to do — welcome to life, I guess, but sometimes I really needed to write a paper but had to set up for a hall program, or hang up flyers, or sit on duty in a loud lobby where you had dance parties all night. But I would do it again and again if you felt cared about because of it.

I have gotten to watch you go from baby freshmen floundering on your first day of classes, to almost-sophomores, who have changed their majors and learned more about the Lord’s calling on your life. I saw you in August making nervous chatter with people you didn’t know to now watching you make friendships that will last for your whole life. Freshman year is a year of growth, and I’ve had the privilege to watch you guys from a front-row seat.

I knew I would like you, but I never knew I would love you.

I never knew you would bless me in any way, but oh boy, you have. From notes of encouragement, to bringing me treats as I sat on duty, to screaming in excitement when you see me even if I just saw you a few hours before — you guys made my senior year something special. I didn’t plan on being served when I moved in this year, and I’m walking away completely amazed at the ways you have changed my life.

You have loved each other well. You have handled conflict with maturity and grace. You have cared for friends who experienced heartache. You have learned how to balance your classes and your social life (kinda). You have grown into different people than the girls I met in August who were scared to take medicine without calling your mom.

Thank you for sitting with me on duty and letting me hang out with you, even though I’m like four years older than you. Thanks for teaching me about love and grace and forgiveness. Thank you for letting me be your RA.

I will leave college in just a few short weeks, but I will never forget the babies I have gotten to love this year. I never knew being an RA would change my life.