I was 17, driving east with my dad, listening to good music and making even better conversation. I had recently gotten back together with my boyfriend at the time. I now realize I made that decision because I was a teenage girl who just did not want to be alone. I didn't see it that way then, though my dad did. He certainly couldn't say so explicitly without stirring up some dramatic response in that hard head I had at the time. He didn't try to start a big conversation about it. He simply asked me,

"Are you happy? Or are you comfortable?"

"What's the difference?"

"You'll see."

I ended that relationship and chose to remain single for the following three years; through high school, through college, through the passing of my dad. I now know my independent identity, what I'm capable of, and what I want for myself better than ever before.

Over the years I found myself further understanding and applying this question to various situations in my life, big and small: Am I happy, or am I comfortable? It started with something as simple as a high school relationship and has since been a question I asked in making the biggest decisions of my life. As a result, I have reached great heights, met amazing people, and made many accomplishments I am proud of, though getting there was hardly ever easy. I will always thank myself for pushing through the times I practically lunged up a mountain for seven miles, spent entire weekends in the library to turn in a paper I was proud of, struggled to hold back terrified tears as I stepped onto a plane alone toward the other side of the globe. It has been worth it every time, and it will always be worth it.

The long, hard road is always more intimidating than the short, easy path. However, it is important not to use the intimidation as an excuse to play it safe. While many situations, decisions, and opportunities in life are scary, risky, and uncomfortable, persevering through the discomfort is important for becoming an overall happier and wiser human being. The tough times are temporary, but the lessons you learn along the way and the pride you feel thereafter last a lifetime. When you stop playing it safe, when you step outside your comfort zone, beautiful things begin to manifest:

You further appreciate the little things.

In December my friend and roommate, Kaveh, went on an adventure to the Washington coast. There was a storm that weekend and he slept through it in his car on the beach. He later told me about the cold, the noise, how it was scary and he hardly got any sleep. Then, he showed me the pictures he took that morning, featuring the rich colors and cool tones only a storm can bring:

I admire Kaveh's spark for adventure, his ability to get up and go, sleep wherever a tent can be pitched, and hike for miles in any weather with his dog at his side. Though, one thing he's told me always resonated with me: "Nothing is as good as returning home from a long hike or night in the cold and getting to sleep in a warm bed."

You never appreciate how lovely home is until you've been away. You never appreciate how warm company is until you've been alone. You never appreciate how nice silence is until you've heard nothing but noise. By changing the routine, stepping outside, doing things different, you fall deeper in love with that which is homey and familiar, giving you a greater gratitude for the little things you have.

The days stand distinctly from one another.

When you're in a routine, the days tend to blur together. I experienced this when I was in college: go to class, go to the gym, do homework, maybe spend time with friends after. The weeks would fly by. I would look forward to the weekends because thought they broke the routine: go to parties, sleep in, relax. Though, I found that many of the weekends were left hazy in my memory, so I'd begin each week looking forward to the next one. I know I'm not the only person who has felt this pattern. Let's face it, it's boring, it's not fulfilling, and time passes so quickly while you fail to take notice.

It wasn't until I broke the routine that I realized excitement and fulfillment are really as easy as breaking the routine. Instead of planning out my weeks to a T, I'd act on spontaneity. My personality type makes me a planner, so leaving space for the unknown is not always easy. However, I found that leaving open my days, or even ditching obligations I may have had, resulted in new passions, experiences, and relationships.

I found myself driving nine hours with my roommate, no specific destination in mind but just to see where the road takes us. I found myself awake late on a Tuesday night and deciding to go to the Cove just because an ocean breeze sounded particularly pleasing. I once ended up at the Canadian border, receiving odd looks from the patrol when I told them I am going to Canada just for the sake of going to Canada. I began trying new foods. I found myself going hiking on weekday mornings, barely making it back in time for class. I found myself driving to Seattle on a school night just because I wanted to see a boy I met, a decision that blossomed into a beautiful relationship. I quit smoking pot because it kept me from following through, it inhibited my ability to spontaneously get up and go. By trying doing something new or different every day, I found that the days blurred together less and less.

Some of most beautiful blessings I have in my life I owe completely to the times I didn't see coming, the places I didn't plan to go to, the road trips I didn't plan to take, the events I didn't think were my "thing" to attend. It's these blessings that make the days memorable and distinct. You will always remember them, and for this you will feel more prideful, purposeful, and thankful. Even if your wallet is thinner, your gas tank is emptier, and your feet get so tired from walking so far, you will find yourself happier than ever on any given day of the week by breaking out of the comfort a routine provides.

Life becomes richer.

Life is short. No inspirational quote, song lyric, or excerpt from a religious text can get this message across explicitly enough. Even after losing a parent, I struggle to wrap my head around the concept. I know it's true, but I can't believe it. Maybe I just don't want to.

Days goes by whether we want them to or not and they go by fast. Time is precious, the most precious thing we have. It deserves to be spent with those who are worthy of it and doing things that will be remembered.

Will you look back on my life and wonder, "What if?" Probably. Anyone who doesn't ever hope to ask themselves that question will be sorely disappointed when they inevitably do. It's not about not asking. It's about asking, and being overwhelmingly in love with your answer. It's about being proud of your choices and your experiences. Don't be the person that plays it safe. Don't be the person that aspires to do something but doesn't make moves to get there. Be the person who takes risks. Be the person who follows through with what they say they will do. Make choices you're proud of even if it means a hard road lies ahead. Make choices you're not proud of, but learn from them. Embrace opportunities for adventure and experience even if it means passing your boundary of comfort. Take risks, make mistakes, fall, stand back up. See farther, love harder, speak louder, and take pride in your actions and your words. Life becomes richer and more fulfilling when you do.

You become immortal.

“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” --Banksy

Picture someone you know that you respect and admire. Picture someone you think of as strong, wise, brave. Whether that be a public figure, a celebrity, your friend, your family, or a random person you met that one time at a party that you thought was particularly awesome: they etched their way into your brain for a reason. They stood out to you for a reason.

If this person is someone you can contact, take the time to call them right now. Yes, call, not text. Tell them how you respect and admire them. I'm sure they'd be honored to be thought of in such high regards. Wouldn't you be?

Something made this person stand out from the rest. If they're brave, they're brave because they've withstood fear. If they're strong, they're strong because they've withstood weakness. If they're wise, they're wise because they've made mistakes and learned from them. If you respect them, it's because they've earned your respect. It wasn't the absence of fear, weakness, or failure that made their legacy, it was overcoming them.

No, you don't literally live forever, but your essence will. You make your own legacy, whether that means having your quote referenced in Odyssey articles or changing someones life, you only leave a legacy when you do something that takes notice. It can be something as small as being someone important to somebody else, or something as big as changing the world as we know it. One thing always remains true, any person who left a legacy behind, who's name is spoken about long after their death, is in this sense immortal.

In Loving Memory of Russell Barney.

The person I thought to call.