Have you ever had that dream where you are standing still facing the wrong direction on a crowded street. You stand there crying out to people as they push and shove right by you. You start to wonder if you are even there, if you are invisible. Somewhere in the midst of all the confusion you got lost. You started out on that street with everyone else, but somehow ended up stuck and unable to move. You finally get the strength to break off to the side and down an alley way. It's dark, cold, and desolate. Then you wake up, and everything is okay. That is until you begin to realize the dream is real. You get up the same time each day, hang around your house, eat, and fall asleep at odd hours of the night, and the cycle repeats. As your involvement in life dwindles down, so does your self worth. You couldn't be like a normal 18 year old and do like you are supposed to. You had to be so in touch with your emotions that you let them do the talking. They drove you mad and took all the good in life away. Your college experience down the drain and relationships with your family and boyfriend are hanging by a thread. All because someone couldn't keep it together. Now you sit in your room at night and cry thinking how different things could be and wonder where you went wrong. Falling to your knees beside your bed has become less and less of a habit for the lack of motivation and doubts that it even makes a difference. A sign on your wall keeps that small seed of faith, the best is yet to come. This post isn't for pity, attention, or even a cry for help. I'm not really sure what it's for. For all I know I am the only one with that dream that's actually reality. On that off chance I'm not, this is for you reading. It's so you don't question your self worth anymore based of your life choices. One day when we least expect it, we will fall asleep and that dream will stop coming to us. Don't lose hope. Don't apologize for being you and taking your time with life. Others that pushed past you will wish they had stopped to self-help for a while. So don't rush, we will figure it out but only when we are supposed to.
