Am I Wrong To Keep Believing The Best In People? | The Odyssey Online
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Am I Wrong To Keep Believing The Best In People?

When does giving someone the benefit of the doubt become just naive?

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People will disappoint you. There's no way around it. The question is, is there a way to help prevent that disappointment? Does it sound crazy to say maybe by being just a little more pessimistic about others, I can save myself a lot of disappointment and hurt?


I have always prided myself on being a very forgiving and for the most part, kind individual. I believe the best in people. But lately, I've been wondering if this is actually a good thing. I've been wondering where lies the line between kindness and naivety, between forgiveness and stupidity.


Being a good friend for others has always been a top priority of mine, but sometimes it feels like the decision to put another's wants before my needs is not a healthy one. I've started to realize my tendency to be a bit of a pushover or not stand up for myself when it's needed. It's a work in progress, but identifying the problem has already helped me a lot to begin resolving it.


It's too easy for me to believe that another person couldn't or wouldn't do something selfish or hurtful or motivated by the wrong things. It's too easy for me to convince myself that everything is okay and no one is being a bad friend and wronging me. People aren't as perfect as I want or believe them to be. People can and will hurt you and they are selfish at times.


I think the answer is striking a balance between optimism and realism, loving and letting go, forgiveness and forgetting, kindness and naivety. The trick is uncovering where exactly the line between the two sides is, what best serves you while still allowing others the chance they are owed.

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