I was born in the 90s, which means I was brought full force into the Disney Princess culture. From the young age of two, I watched "The Little Mermaid" almost every day, falling in love with Ariel and Eric's story. My Disney movie collection is huge, varying from "Cinderella" to "The Lion King," and don't get me wrong, I still watch Disney movies from time to time with awe and nostalgia.

I would just like to be clear up front: I'm a hopeless romantic; I believe in love, I believe in soul mates, and I'm going to have a love that I think I deserve. But, I think these fairy tales have formed our idea of love in a way that has caused many of us to feel disappointed with 'love' due to our Disney and Nicholas Sparks expectations.

I could literally write a book on this, with all the different spectrums and different situations and how everyone's experiences with love are different. I'm not criticizing love itself, but what the idea of "true love" is supposed to be.

Love isn't a fairy tale.

As cynical as it sounds, love isn't a fairy tale. It's not as simple as these stories make it out to seem. It broke my heart to realize this. Love at first sight is rare (I would like to think that it exists), chances of marrying a prince are limited, and love stories in the real world typically last more than 90 minutes. In fact, almost all romances last more than the cinematic or novelistic love stories, which sets us up for failure. Relationships take a lot of time, and sometimes it isn't always fun. Real life doesn't work the same way it does in books or movies, as much as we would like them to, and life sometimes leaves us lonely, broken, and trying to fill the empty voids in our hearts.

The "love stories" give us unrealistic expectations.

I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks novels and movies. I'll admit it; "The Notebook" and "The Best of Me" make me feel some type of way. And I know I'm not the only person who gets sucked into these stories and wishes that our lives will have as "great" of a love story as the ones that Sparks creates. But that's something we need to constantly remind ourselves of: these are stories. Fiction, sure maybe inspired by real life events, but they're unrealistic. I always like to think that we need these kinds of stories to remind us that we deserve great and passionate love, that we shouldn't settle for anything less than we deserve, but it's gotten to the point where people feel like they're failing in life because their depiction of "relationship goals" is unrealistic. Are these love stories doing more harm than good?

They don't show the entirety of a real relationship.

With most love stories, especially with Disney, the premise of the plot is trying to overcome these wild obstacles to get married at the very end and have "They lived happily ever after," splay across the screen. But what happens after the happily ever after? We idolize these love stories, but they don't show the tough decisions to make as a couple; the fights, the small details, the lows and highs of relationships, the comprises, the sacrifices, the growth, the life changes that happens when (or if) you start a family. They don't show what it's like to be in love with someone when they're struggling with mental illness, unemployment, addiction, or even something as small as when they had a bad day at work. This can be extremely detrimental to those who view these love stories as real-life examples. They don't show the real life struggles that people have to go through. You can't cram a lifetime with someone into a movie.

Fairy tales always have the perfect struggle.

Do you ever just watch movies with these passionate, dramatic fights between lovers and be like, "Why haven't any of my fights ever sounded like this?" It's because they're constructed over time to be what the viewer wants it to be. As a writer, I know this to be so painfully true: story lines are crafted to give the characters the perfect amount of conflict for viewers to get emotionally invested, but not too much that the plot gets ruined and stuck in a rut. Even if the story doesn't have a "happy ending," the story always wraps up nicely (if it's good writing). I think we love these kinds of stories because these characters always say the right things at the right time; they always say the things we so desperately want to hear in our lives. The boyfriend makes a mistake? He apologizes with a bouquet of flowers or a pizza. The girl doesn't know what she wants? She ends up taking buses across town with perfectly windswept hair and rosy-flushed cheeks with a perfectly scripted monologue of how much she wants to be with her lover as violins play in the background. I hate to be that person, but like, this doesn't always happen.

You're not always going to get the "Happily Ever After."

If there's one thing I've learned from my love life, it's that we don't always get closure. And we surely don't get a "happily ever after" with every person we open our hearts to. Heartbreak builds character, I'm a firm believer in that; it can teach you a lot about yourself. But sometimes it really sucks, and it really hurts, and it can take years to get over. It's a concept that a lot of people don't like to acknowledge, but you can't always fix what's been broken. You cheated on your significant other? Sorry not sorry, but you don't deserve to be with that person anymore, not after the way you broke their trust and hurt them. You said one thing three months ago but now you're saying another now? Not everything can be fixed with, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean the things I said. I'm ready now to be with you." People don't always get what they want, and if you've hurt a person, they're entitled to be mad at you and try to move on with their lives. And if you've been a person hurt by someone, don't ever feel like you deserved it. You can pick up the pieces, put yourself back together, and move forward without looking back. We don't always get the ending we want, but sometimes it's what we need to keep us propelling forward to where we're meant to be.

As much as I've fought to keep my belief in fairy tale love alive, I've had to let go of some perceptions of how I thought love is supposed to be. I say some though: I still watch all the sappy, romantic movies and want a "fairy tale romance." My heart hasn't turned to stone. "Me Before You" had me blubbering like a little baby. And don't get me wrong, there are great, realistic interpretations of love depicted in some movies. I'm not bashing every love story ever created.

Growing up, I had a very skewed vision of what love was supposed to be like. I thought love would be this easy thing, that everything would fall into my lap and if I'm with the right person, we would never fight, and nothing bad would ever happen. I've now learned that love is hard, it's not perfect, it will be a team effort, and that there are going to be really ugly times, but also very beautiful times. I've learned that there is a right amount sacrifice and compromise that can go into a relationship without it being considered "unhealthy."

I'm not a heartless witch who doesn't believe in love, so I will end with this: I hold onto the love stories I've grown up with for a reason. These stories, they're beautiful to me, and they give me hope. They give me hope that if you fight hard enough for love, that it will pay off in the end one of these days. If you want someone bad enough, you're going to have to go out of your comfort zone to make it happen. The Disney franchise may have some flaws in their plots, but almost every hero/heroine has been fearless in their pursuit for love, and I find that admirable. I may not have to fight off magical creatures in my quest for love or have Nicholas Sparks write my love story, but vulnerability and courage are part of the journey, and I hope everyone fights for their right to have an extraordinary love.