Written at 4:23pm on the 8^th of November, 2016: Election Day

I’m terrified. I’ve been mulling words over in my head since late last night, and I don’t even know why. It’s too late to change any of your minds about who to vote for. It’s too late for persuasive articles, delegitimizing what is your rightful opinion (no matter how very un-right it may be) because by the time this article is published, we will have our results. We will have less than 2 months to prepare ourselves for a new president.

And that terrifies me. Because nobody in their sane mind, I would prefer to think, would have picked these candidates out of a crowd.

Democratic candidate:

1. Involved with a situation in Benghazi that resulted in the deaths of 4 Americans
2. Handled highly confidential emails in an incredibly reckless manner by managing them on her private server
3. Attempted to cover up the careless behavior involving the emails which may have been intercepted by foreign intelligence
4. Reduced this careless behavior to a "mistake"
5. The Clinton Foundation received large donations from foreign governments during the candidate’s time as Secretary of State
6. Connected the term "superpredators" to African American youth
7. Disregarded multiple claims of sexual assault made by other women against her husband
8. Has lied about her experiences (ex: how she came under sniper fire in Bosnia)
9. Was involved in multiple scandals throughout her time in public service
10. tax avoidance

Republican candidate:

1. Disagrees with the current ruling on marriage equality and would “strongly consider” appointing judges that could overturn the decision, and has a running mate that supports conversion therapy
2. Stated that Mexican immigrants are criminals
3. Wants to build an American wall, for which Mexico would pay
4. Says that allowing refugees into America will bring more terrorist attacks
5. Believes that being respectful of other people and their beliefs is too much work
6. Repeatedly has made racist remarks, in addition to being endorsed by the KKK
7. Repeatedly has made sexist remarks, including some about his daughter’s appearance and grabbing female genitalia
8. Has gone through multiple bankruptcies despite being a “great businessman” and also goes through tax avoidance
9. Doesn’t believe in climate change
10. Does anyone actually know what his policies are? Or do we just know his opinions?

Fear envelopes me and it’s all I can do to keep from crying.

I’m not even scared for myself. I’m a cisgender, white female that comes from a middle-class family. I am not oppressed. I’m not scared of what may happen should the Republican candidate be elected in the same way that my LGBTQA+ friends are. I’m scared for them, should the Republican candidate be elected, because of what this past year of campaigning has shown us.

One of my best friends couldn’t go to sleep last night. They were too scared about what tonight might bring.

I’m scared for what should happen, too, if the Democratic candidate should win. I do not want a female president if she is only going to perpetuate the stereotypes that plague women, that we deceive, and manipulate, and apologize, in order to get our way. I want the glass ceiling shattered by someone who hasn’t shattered my faith in our American “democracy”.

I got a text from my aunt this morning- in between our lighthearted memes we shared she interjected “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better candidates to vote for.”

I replied with a consolatory “me too but it’s fine”, to which I received “It’s not fine. We are failing as a country.” To that I asked “we are failing as a country but how do we fix that without an actual revolution?"

I still haven’t gotten a response to that one.

In the meantime, I’ll be praying and hoping that my God really is in control.

***Disclaimer by author: This is by no means an official compilation of both candidates' faults, scandals, etc. This article was attempted to be written with no bias, as the author feels there is no good choice.***