My mother still has the first story I ever “wrote." I was three years old, dictating to my older cousin the words of my story as she wrote them down on a legal pad. Looking back on it now, I would like to believe that was when the seed to my relationship with writing was planted. I had not yet realized what that meant for me, and would not for several years until that seed began to grow and blossom. As I got older I fell first in love with reading. Second, I became infatuated with the stories of whatever I was reading. Lastly, I was fascinated with words on the pages. I came to find that I had such a deep appreciation for writing of all sorts. From my love of poetry to the excitement I felt reading the Harry Potter novels, I found myself thinking, “Hey. I could do this, too.” So, as my relationship with writing started to bloom, thus began the hunt through my house for journals to write in.
I am not someone who verbally expresses her emotions with ease. For me, writing is a way for me to get my thoughts down on paper without trying to explain them out loud. I display my true feelings better on paper than I could ever explain vocally. I use writing as a way to free the demons of my past in a creative way. Everyone has had their own struggles growing up, some worse than others. I found the best way to deal with mine was to write. I began writing poetry when I was in seventh grade. I have written poetry ever since then to deal with any obstacle I came to cross. It was only until recently when I decided to begin writing a book of my own. There is no better way for me to talk about the past and all my personal experiences than by telling a story. In writing in this way I release all of my energy, both positive and negative. I write to relate. Though paper and pens are not people, they are the best things to pour my heart and soul into. I can choose how I want to tell my story, because my writing is in my control only. I love using the power of words to let the emotion flow right out of my soul.
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Writing is not always about pleasing yourself, though. I tend to be a person who is brutally honest. Because of this, I expect brutal honesty in return, especially when it comes to my writing. I love when my writing is critiqued, because it means I can continue to work on it. Whether the feedback I receive is negative or positive, writing is just one of those things that can always be improved. I want to see what my audience thinks of my writing. Another words, how does it affect them? Even if my writing is personal, I often seek the opinion of one of my close friends to see how I can improve. This way, I can enhance my writing skills and make the rest of my writing more enriching. I can also make what I have written about relatable to someone else. In this case, the more feedback I receive, the better the finished product will be. I could spend (and have spent, for that matter) hours upon hours editing essays and reviewing my writing. In fact, I spend so much time attempting to fix my writing that my friends will often say to me, “Cat, you’re over thinking it.” The fact of the matter is that I just cannot help it. The same way musicians are constantly tuning their guitar or trying to make the song they are playing sound perfect, the same applies to me with writing. If I write something the day before and think that it is a phenomenal piece of work, I will look at that same page of writing and find at least five things I can correct.
I can never get enough of writing. I love all forms of it, and it is the best way I can express myself. I have always used writing to cope with whatever came into my life, both good and bad. Writing is something I know will always unconditionally be there for me. It does appear to seem as if writing is my addiction, but I guess that sums up exactly what my relationship to writing is. I do not feel like quitting anytime soon.
