"WHAT Will I Even Write About?"

There are SO many good ideas, so many things WORTH writing about, but- what do YOU want to write about? Should I pick one topic and stick to it? Should I do a wide array of things? What's popular right now? What will people even read? Won't know until you write it, I guess??

I am still grappling with this question because so much interests me and I genuinely hate being tied down to something. (Yes, ex-boyfriend, I do have a bit of a commitment issue) I love games, so maybe do reviews? But I also have a lot of deep thoughts? But I also have funny stories? But I also would like to write about my faith?? This really ties in with the question of WHO will even read what you write- but that's to come.

"HOW Will I Write?"

HOW you write is actually just as important as WHAT you write about. Because you can be writing ABOUT the most interesting game ever on the face of the Earth but if you decide that every word's going to be at least 15 letters?? And if you have the exact tone of an IKEA instruction manual? (Which is basically nonexistent anyway) Please. For the sake of everyone. Ever. Don't. Just- don't. We dealt with nerds like you at school- please do not invade my free time when I could be doing ANYTHING better.

I've seen a LOT of people who I really, really like turn into really, really bad writers when they try and start a blog. Maybe it's the nerves? The uncertainty? The stepping out on a limb in front of all your friends? The stepping out onto that limb INTO the unending abyss that is the Internet? Which I mean... all fair reasons, really.

But even I have a deathly fear of losing everything interesting about myself as soon as I start writing on a blank screen. Please. For the love of everything. If I EVER sound like a furniture building instruction manual- write me a strongly worded letter like my man Jimmy Kimmel. I will read it. And everyone everywhere who has ever read my writing will be happier for it.

"Who am I even writing for?"

Obviously you're not just writing for yourself. That's called a journal- look it up. Are you writing for your friends? The world? A certain kind of person? Students? People like you in some way? Fellow underwater basket weavers? Your audience is honestly one of the biggest reasons you should be starting a blog in the first place.

And it is most DEFINITELY where I struggle the most. Who will even READ my writing? WHY would they? I'm related to some of you and some of you are my friends- which thank you, you a real one- but still. I don't have a thousand friends. And aren't there THOUSANDS of other people trying to speak to the same kinds of people I'm writing for? As I explore a bit more on Odyssey for now, this is one of the main things I want to figure out. Who I write for. And... well, okay, the other thing is literally the next point...

"WHY do I want to write?"

Please don't get existential here. Just. Please. But DO get real and personal. I like teaching people new things or giving advice. I want to be a voice that someone can relate to- especially if they feel alone in whatever it is we share. I want to have a viable excuse to play more video games (so that I can review them... of course). I want to make people laugh. I want to be actively improving and learning more about writing.

But that's me. And also, HOW you bring those why's together is often the biggest challenge. Like, HOW do I turn my motivations and my end goals into a reality? This is where I get real struggle-y because I just, I don't always know.

And sometimes the hardest part about your why is remembering that it's your why. Sometimes it's so easy, at least for me, to get caught up in my own insecurities and fears that I forget why I wanted to do something in the first place.

It's easy to allow yourself to focus on what seems to be other people's motivations or how other people are doing that you forget that your BIG why was... actually quite simple and small. It only takes one laugh or one connection or one comment or one amazing review to make me feel accomplished. Because that's why I'm doing what I do.

"When will I even have the time to write?"

Okay. So. Mini rant incoming. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I look for new weekly layouts or whatever for my bullet journal there's always like FIFTY options I gotta get through that are NOT made for busy people. Oh, lady, you only need room for THREE to-do's on every week day? I DON'T think so. That will NOT work for this student/intern/writer/editor-in-chief/friend/daughter.

But anyway... the struggle of WHEN you will even make time to write is a real one. Especially when you know that it's something you SHOULD do and not necessarily something you WANT to do at the moment. If it's between forced writing practice and watching another let's play, well, erm, let's pretend I make the smart choice most days. So I get it. Time and scheduling issues is a large part of why I'm doing freelance right now. It's why I had to quit Odyssey two years ago. It's why I had to quit my game reviewing job one year ago.

My only answer for this struggle is to be really honest about what you can do and what's worth doing and how you can make those two answers work for you. If writing matters, you'll do it. And sometimes, even when it isn't what matters most right now, if it's something you love to do- you'll have time for it later on. And you'll come back to it.