You're writing your first book and it feels unreal.
At first, it's otherworldly. But then reality sets in. Now you're staying up until five in the morning writing a novel that you're sure no one will even read.
I wrote my first book at sixteen. It was everything I imagined it to be...and then some. Here was my thought process the entire time. (And I mean entire time.) You're going to experience this - I guarantee it.
1. "I'm getting 2,000 words done tonight."
This is your very unrealistic goal. First it was 1,000 (which is nothing for us writers) but soon you graduate to 2,000 and you forget that you're ADHD. Ha. HA. No. You're not getting 2,000 words done tonight. Forget it.
2. "I have absolutely no ideas whatsoever and I want to die immediately."
THE DREADED WRITER'S BLOCK. The worst of our enemies as writers - seriously. Everything is going okay (as good as okay can be while writing an entire novel) but suddenly...nothing. There's that ridiculous brick wall and you're left with blackness. Again.
3. "MY HANDS NEED TO HURRY."
When you do have tons of words flowing from your brain and into your fingers, you can't type fast enough. Then you forget what you were going to say. And, of course, it was brilliant.
4. "What would Hemingway say?"
You start thinking about what the greats would do in a situation like this: Salinger, Hemingway, Fitzgerald. They would continue.
5. "They'd hate me."
They as in the greats. Doubting yourself is poison, but it's great motivation.
6. "None of this makes sense."
Back to the drawing board. Your plot is total rubbish. You hate yourself for it. You have to go back and reread everything you have. Otherwise, you'll get off track and soon enough you'll have chaos. Writing is chaos. It's all chaos.
7. "Where is this comma supposed to go?"
You are not an editor. You are a storyteller and you will commit grammar genocide.
8. "JUST STOP TALKING."
When you're writing a book, you have schizophrenia. You're constantly thinking about dialogue for different scenes. Eventually, this annoys the hell out of you. Your characters won't shut up...even late at night.
9. But, even if it bombs, this book is yours. Forever. All yours.
You should take pride in doing something that people have always wanted to do. You have written thousands of words. It doesn't matter how long it takes - you did it. Yes, you did it.