Like any human being, I have experienced the normal emotional roller coaster we call life. I have gone through the highs and the really lows and I often did not know what to do when I could no longer contain the highs or handle the lows. I never had a way to vent. I have difficulty opening up to others about my feelings, my emotions and my everyday struggles. I often can't put into spoken words how I really feel. That's just who I am. I often wish I didn't feel this way. It would have saved me a lot of wasted time stressing over the same thing over and over in my head. At times, it became overwhelming. I realized I needed to find a way to let out all the stress that was building inside of me, so I decided to write.
I'm not a writer. English has never been my strong subject. I always excelled at math and science. I always understood numbers more than groups of letters that might mean one thing, but probably meant another. Numbers are standardized, words are not. With that being said, I never imagined I would choose to write. I took the minimum required English classes in college just to meet my general credit needs. I took a creative writing course in high school and I enjoyed it but it was never something that I thought I would have an interest in.
One day, all the stresses became too much for me to handle. I could no longer take the "noise" inside my head. I didn't want to talk to anyone about the "noise" but I needed to release it all. Something clicked inside me. I picked up my notebook and a pen and I wrote down everything that I was thinking. I wrote as much as I could and then I wrote some more. And with every stroke of the pen, I felt the "noise" getting quieter and quieter. I felt the release of all that was built up as the page filled up with all of my thoughts and feelings. Finally, I had some peace and found a way to vent.
As time went on, I once again became filled with "noise" and I missed the quiet peace. I picked up my notebook and my pen and wrote. I allowed myself to let the "noise" go again. This became my habit and to this day I continue to write as my stress reliever. That's how I got here. I needed to vent. I loved reading others article's because I felt them venting too. I wanted to be able to open up without having to speak. Writing makes it easier to let it all out. These words are my thoughts and when I read them, I hear the voice of the words I couldn't quite figure out. I let it all out on the page. The "noise" that has been building slowly gets quiet with every word and I find my peace.
So I'm not writing to get attention. Woe is so not me. I'm not writing because I'm good at it or because I think I could be good at it with enough practice. I'm simply writing because I enjoy letting go of that constant "noise." I am allowing myself to open up in a way where I can watch my roller coaster of life slow down as it comes back to the platform before it takes off for another ride. Writing is my way to quiet the noise down, and that's why I decided to write.
