“I want to take a class where I don’t have to write essays.”

Umm… excuse me?

“Oh God, I hate poetry.”

Hold on… what?

“I’m not strong at reading, so can we just… not?”

Wait, wait, wait, wait… WAIT. Hold the phone. Stop. Right where you are. Now.

Every time a college student says one of these statements, I start getting a violent, throbbing, splitting headache. Not because I’m sick — not because the Sophomore Slump, or any of those seasonal allergies that come with the petri dish lifestyle of a college student.

Negative, nada, zilch.

I get so tensed because a growingly disproportionate majority of students (secondary, undergraduate, graduate and post-graduate) are pretending that they hate writing — they just refuse to try it in any format unless it’s assigned in class!

Now please note: I said “pretending.” I am NOT accusing anybody of being anything less than intelligent. No, we all have to work hard to get into a prominent college, and I’m sure we’re all presented with ample opportunity to show our skill at wordplay. What I am saying, though, is that once all the testing and requirements have passed, millennials develop this trend of acting like they hate reading and writing.

Can anybody answer my question: “WHY?!”

“I’m no good at it.”

Well nobody is guaranteed to be “good” at literature and the like because, like everything, only the practiced student (the exhausted practitioner, really) begins to become something called “adept” at the English language. That’s how the process works for most people. I’m almost certain no kid just waltzed into a CrossFit and started benching 250 pounds at age 11. Although, if you do know a kid that can do that, you can assume they’re probably not a human: They’re probably a steroid-filled silverback gorilla.

But back to the point. Are there any other reasons we pretend we hate writing? Because “I don’t like it,” is stupid. Here’s why.

Do you like movies and television? Of course you do, every normal millennial is safely addicted to Netflix. So, let me break the illusion. "Orange is the New Black" and "Seinfeld." They exist because somebody with an idea wrote a screenplay for them. You fancy yourself the ultimate Potter fan? Well, everybody’s favorite “bottle green-eyed” wizard was first found between the covers of a children’s book. And for all of you who prayed Jaime would die in "Game of Thrones" — guess where the concept came from?

Yup. Somebody wrote up all of these characters, relationships — heck, they wrote the entire worlds for these novels — and that’s pretty flipping cool.

Here’s where things get insane. You can write like that.

I know. I KNOW. Dudes, I know it sounds crazy, but please continue reading and let me tell you why I’m not crazy — why you have this insane, untapped potential. Let me drop some knowledge on your lap, some “food for thought” to chew on, if you will. For nearly two hundred years after his death, William Shakespeare’s plays weren’t beloved.

Something Rotten has duped all of us. HARD.

That’s right. The proposed greatest playwright and literary figure in the entire English language wasn’t beloved (during his own lifetime) for what we now consider some of the most classic, intelligent and treasured pieces of English literature.

Don't get me wrong! Was he an incredible writer and did he make some incredible pieces? Of course. But was he living with a silver spoon because of his work and were people lining up from high and low at The Globe to see "Hamlet?"

Nope, probably not. Mostly, Shakespeare scrapped up a living as a court poet among numerous other professions — filling his days writing sonnets and couplets and the like for his wealthy patrons. Furthermore, do we seriously think the bard was just born with greatness? Of course not, for as old Bill wrote in “Twelfth Night,” some have to achieve greatness — only the lucky have greatness thrust upon them. (Still waiting to hear about that secret trust fund, Mom and Dad).

What we should admire about Shakespeare most is that he probably busted his brain’s gaskets trying to invent original words and phrases, writing day in and day out to create some pretty kick-butt stuff. Even still, not everybody loved and praised him. Today, some crotchety-literary critics think old Willy lifted all his plots from Roman classics.

The long and the short of all of this is: Nobody will be perfect at writing. But if you do what you can to try your absolute best, and you do something often enough, you can become wonderful at almost anything — especially writing!

So, instead of thinking very tempting thoughts like, “Once I’m out of college, I’ll never have to write an essay again,” or, “I’ll never have to pick up a book of poetry ever after this class.” You’ll have to, no doubt, due some sort of writing for your workplace — whether you’re the furthest thing from what you consider a writing-based profession. Writing kind of makes its living creeping up on all of us. But how we as individuals either embrace or evade the opportunity to make writing assignments engaging and fun is really an easier choice than we make it out to be.

Who knows? You could be the William Shakespeare, Sylvia Plath or J.K. Rowling, and just be a few practices away from knowing it.

So give it a try. Writing is not the hardest thing you could ever do. Really, it is one of the best thing you could ever do. Just try it!

Who knows… you could even get lucky and write online for Odyssey!