I’m supposed to be writing something right now. Admittedly, I was supposed to be writing something at least four days ago.

But of course that something never turned into the something I needed to write. Why can’t I just write what I need to write and get it over with? Honestly. Not cool, muse.

Well, I say “muse.” Really I should just be blaming myself, ‘cause frankly, I don’t even know what a muse is supposed to be. A person? Yourself? Your cat? The mysterious and terrifying depths of the ocean? A houseplant?

Should I write

poetry, not

prose?

Maybe I should try something like. Really out there. Like—okay, I don’t even know what the fuck that would mean.

should i try n be edgy n forget grammar like e e cummings

Nope, I’m pretty sure my school-trained self just tried to claw her—their? His?—eyes out. Ugh, pronouns are weird. And annoying. But sometimes they’re not?

Maybe I could write something like that? A character who has Confusion about themselves? No, no, I have way too much shit to do for something that long right now. These are supposed to be short and fun. Short and fun, short and fun. Short. Fun.

I am tall and funny, does that count?

What would happen if I just wrote “something happens to this person I don’t know and we all have a laugh, the end”?

Probably get my account suspended. But come on, it’s not like writers aren’t thinkin’ it. (Stephen King doesn’t count, okay, he can literally type out six chapters in like a month without pause. I saw it on an interview once. Lucky bastard.)

I know it’s gonna be feel-good. That’s something it has to be. I’m already suffocating with work. I don’t need more depressing stuff. That’s for another day, and when that day comes, I’ll say the same thing. “For another day.”

Common problem, I like to think.

Ugh, what’s the word count again? I feel like those things are one of the worst features we have. It’s like checking the clock during class—you think you’ve done a lot, then you look over and realize you’ve only typed like, 50 words.

Well, I’ve got a decent number so far.

Maybe I can keep going.

Yeah. Let’s keep going.