This summer, our team has shrunk and shriveled into a pathetic little raisin of despair and dashed hopes. The summer heat leeched the creative juice from everyone, myself included. (This is the first article that I’ve written in two weeks). Maybe your summer is so dull that the creative side of your brain committed suicide. Maybe it’s so busy that your eyeballs go on strike every time they see a blank document. Maybe your hands feel like rebellious little spiders every time they touch a keyboard. Maybe you are vacationing in Satan’s asshole and you don’t get Wi-Fi. Either way, here are some tips to end your writers block.
1. Bang your head against a wall to shake the good ideas loose.
2. Drink until you think all your bad ideas are good.
3. Work with a friend. You will find joy in each other’s misery.
4. Practice breathing exercises.
5. Hold your breath until you write something good. Or pass out.
6. Draw first, and then write. This will get the creative juices flowing without giving yourself a headache or a panic attack.
7. Listen to people talking. Collect their most interesting quotes and steal them.
8. Interview an interesting person. This could be someone you already know or just someone on the street with a cool hairdo. Maybe their coolness will rub off on you.
9. Have sex with someone you like.
10. Have sex with someone you don’t like.
11. Go to sleep and try again.
